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When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
Oy, surely that's not the exact same trap as it were last time…even though it seems just the same =D 
24th-May-2009 12:14 am

*zones in again* Rrright. So I'll try to write a proper entry. I had a couple of things to blog about after all... Just right now for some reason, the spirits seem to have left me, and all I want to do is curl up in my bed. (-o-') I definitely do not want this kind of situation. *curses* Never really wanted it ever again anyway, but hell, I'm an idiot, or my heart is, or whatever so, heck, be it. *angry at self*

Ah, trying to not get frustrated again here. Or repeat the 'how much alcohol can I drink in less than 20 minutes before I have to go to bed'-game I did yesterday.


I'm not quite sure how I again manage to write in such length about such small things... well, that's where the headers come in handy. Skip the part about bugs when you don't want to read about bugs &c&c~

Friday~ In the Park

On Friday I have one hour to spend as I wish between one course and the next. As it was a perfectly beautiful day, warm, sunny, with a cool breeze blowing, I went to the park called "The English Garden". It is situated right between the mother-building of my college, and the Japanologists' Institute.
What a wonderful time there... I did some reading of my history book, yet at times I just gazed out at the beautiful green space and watched the clouds' shadows chase over the earth. I love doing that. The wind happened to blow their shadows directly at me... so when suddenly things got darker, I looked up and watched the brim of the shadow rush closer and closer like a wave. Everytime they are about to reach me, I feel this 'haah' tightening in my chest and hold my breath. 微笑

止めない雨はない 明けない夜はない…

And it's quite funny... after maybe twenty minutes, one fellow student passed me from left to right. He's one of the older students... meaning 50歳+ Quite a witty colleague. We grinned at each other and I waved as he passed. His eyes fell onto my book and he laughed and said something that I didn't catch. Was listening to music, ne~ *laughs*

Just a bit later when I looked up, one of my professors passed me from right to left... on a bicycle. Ahahaha... It was Professor Vollmer... I visited all his History classes the past three semesters and had to write a little essay about Archaeology and Cultural Identity the last semester. I had asked him whether he'd already corrected the essays yet (wrote with a couple of sweatdrops, as that man is rather perfectionistic *ungnh*), and he'd replied that he would bring the corrected essays to the bureau on Friday. So I guess that was what he was doing right then.
We saw each other and again, grinned... He beamed, or rather, shone... with the whole of his head (whether that's the fault of his huge, white-teethed grin that at times seems to reach all the way to his ears, or rather that of his almost-total-baldness, I cannot tell) and he rode on.

He's one of the stricter sort... And as I'm not one of the very talkative students - at least when it comes to subjects like history etc - I'm glad that he always remembers me as "the one with the fabulous talks&hand-outs" ... つーか "The one who's always late in sending me her hand-out, but always makes good ones, and interesting, amusing talks at that"... *cough* uhm well xP So with that, I'm not as terrified as some others might be xD

犠牲は存在の愛 滲む瞼が写す非現実

Chance encounters with my favourite one ♥

I've got this new favourite professor ever since this term started. If I've ever visited any of his courses before, he'd already have been my favourite ne *laughs* He's too witty, smart, gaaaaaah, I love his humor, and how he always makes the classes so lively with his vivid examples and stories from his life. And his name, it's Holger. Holgerさーん x3

So, I'd just arrived at the classroom at got a place to sit, then left to fill up my water bottle. Just when I was about to enter the toilet, I saw him on the other end of the corridor, seeming to stare concentrated or deep in thoughts at the floor in front of him as he walked on. I had already been in the middle of entering the washroom, but had to smirk too much when I noticed him, that I immediately went out again (there are other washrooms on the corridor, so I just changed my plans for which one to use XD)

So swooosh, I got out again and walked into his direction. Both of us walking pretty fast, and me grinning from one end to the other, "hi~~~~" I said, and there he recognized me and grinned and said "hi~" and left to the classroom.

Five minutes later - I had been walking around a bit - I went back to the classroom... and just about at the same point of that corridor, who is walking towards me?

Right, Holger is. He already noticed me from far away, and ZING huge grin. Ahahaha... I find situations like this just too comical, meeting again at about the same spot, just opposite directions. I had difficulties in not laughing out loud actually. He too, apparently. When we were about to pass each other, he softly went like ふふふふふふう〜, or rather "kchhhhahahahhchecheche..." I'm not joking. LOL! That man is love.

Actually, his way of pronouncing my name is one of its kind. No one has ever pronounced it that way. [Unlike many of the other 'differently-pronouncers', I like that version. (^ω^')]

Mortal Combat. A real one.

So today when I left from work (might mention a couple of things about this later as well... That woman made Cappuccino for me without even asking ♥ Too bad I don't drink any sorts of coffee but... it was just water with powder, and chocolate cappu at that, so it was... drinkable. ... Still not really my type of drink though xD), sunshine, brightest clear sky, just a notch too warm, but yay, work over, my mood up, and so I skipped down the pathway. After a couple of steps, I noticed the ant trails alongside the road. As I looked down and watched them work about, I noticed how a couple of them attacked a bug.
I failed at trying to find out its name for the last ten minutes, so I'll just say that it was about 1.5cm long, the cover of it's wings was of a shiny dark green, it's head and stomach were brown.

So there it was, trying to escape the ants that probably had been trying to defend the formicary. It ran and ran, but the ants kept biting into its legs, the head, abdomen, everywhere they could reach. Sometimes they managed to make it fall onto its back and attacked even fiercer once its underside was exposed. I bent down to watch them closely. The bug managed to shake off some of the ants, but they on the other hand managed to get a hold of its legs and exoskeleton over and over again. It was rather fascinating. [I love watching spectacles like this one. Last year I even managed to tape two wasps fighting until one had killed the other ><] The bug tried to fly away at one point, yet failed as an ant had grasped a wing right after it had unfolded them from the protecting skeleton. 'Wrong move -_-' I thought.
After a while of not doing anything "let it run its course", I tried to somewhat help the bug nonetheless. Picked up some leaves and sticks that lay spread around to distract the ants - meaning, having them crawl onto those 'new fiends', then put them away.
No use, as there were too many of them, and they were fast in addition, the bug on the other hand had been slowed down by all the attackers.
So then I reflected on whether I really should just let them be that way. However. The ants weren't trying to kill it for food. They had wanted to defend their territory. The bug already was outside the danger-zone. The ants didn't need the bug to be dead. However the bug might still have 'plans with its life'. Know what I mean? And for me, a sort of higher power regarding everything visible that was involved with this scene, it wouldn't be of any effort. So with a couple of moves, I had managed to get the bug ant-free and away from them.
I inspected it as it was clinging to the back of my hand. The ants had already managed to break two of its legs, aye. It was still sort of shaky, not trying to fly unless it was falling - which happened twice. I just brought it further away from the ants until it really tried to fly ~ じゃね、また後の世で. Or so. For some reason that made me feel good. *laughs*

And yeah, I hate it when people kill anything that isn't of harm to them. I bear a grudge against anyone I see doing that. Really hate it. When I say I hate it, I do. It's not their fault that they're smaller than you. They're living creatures after all. And pretty fascinating.

So~ That was that about bugs. Word count is? *laughs*

サヨナラ人間 響きはしない

Why I love this kanji so much more than ever before.

Kay, actually I have been wanting to mention this little curiousity a lo~ng while ago. I remembered today as I again stumbled over the kanij, or rather, the story within the kanji.
Don't know who of you remember, if you've read my journal/that entry back then, but I once mentioned the Heisig method of memorizing kanji. He practically breaks up each kanji in its radicals and different 'primitives'. Knowing their meanings, you make up a story that contains all the kanji's radicals/primitives plus the key word/meaning of the kanji, that way you ought to remember it.


, to sleep, respectively, I only had to look at once after I was familiar with all the primitives it consists of, and there immediatly was a story. ... One I treasure xD

So the primitives are... the top part is the 'house', the stick-like thing to the left is the 'turtle' (... I guess at least unsraws_bitch will remember ... the... connotation xDDDD), and next to it the 'broom' on top of a 'crown' on top of the 'crotch'.

Okay. Outori has an immediate image in her head.

There's this house, any, preferably mine. It all happens in that house. Sleep. It has got to do with sleep. So sleeping... next to... the Turtle. And, as it happens, the turtle in my mind, in my world of associations, has become a symbol of mikaru. ... yupp. So, sleeping next to mikaru... if I was a guy, at nights, if I really happened to sleep next to him for some reason, in the morning for some reason I guess my 'crotch' area for sure would look as if it were 'crowned' 8D and that would immediately make my auntie/stepmother/over-careful-grannie, about to want to wake me up every so gently, grasp her 'broom' and SWOOOSH paDANG hit it hard against what is protruding from under the blanket.


まぁ〜 It's late again. Guess I'll go to bed in a bit.

帰らない 帰れずに 無口な愛
静かに 静かに 絡め合う 二人

*soft sigh* 駄目な〜

脆弱な意識を剥がれ ゆっくりと足音を立てずに
灰になり粉々に散る それだけそれだけ


Ah, great, it's 3hours after I started writing this...
... Without thinking of why I originally didn't feel like posting, it would have felt better perhaps maybe...


貴方が居なくて 苦しいよ
壊れた 愛を探す 眠りの中


籠女籠の中 籠女籠の中 籠の中いつ出やる
籠女籠の中 籠女籠の中…

Right. With that.
I'm off.

Can you take me away... I'm waiting for your love... この叫びが激動の終焉なのか…
24th-May-2009 06:40 am (UTC)
Mortal combats. Uuuhh. Could this have been a Rosenkäfer?? Remember, that glimmering green bugs you could HEAR flying around, stupid bugs that were flying like drunk, usually landing on our balcony, Miro getting wild over them - until one of them hooked himself into Miro's lip and Miro couldn't get rid of it.

Some of these bugs usually hibernated in my living-room, and I gave them names sometimes ...

It's interesting to watch natural things happen. There's one thing burnt into my mind - I still was a child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, and nearby was a so-called "Zoo-Center". They had snakes, too, and I loved staying for hours in this shop (the shop-keeper usually felt aggravated, hehe).
I remember him feeding a Anaconda or Boa with a mouse. I was standing outside the shop, pressing my nose against the shop-windows to watch the spectacle of this snake suffocating the mouse to death and beginning slowly to chop it down. The shop-keeper came running out, shooing me away and nearly screaming that I wasn't allowed to watch this ...

What did he think? A little girl like me would suffer from a live-long trauma, or what??

Oh, Heisig's method. Yepp, I do remember this Mikaru and turtle thing. FUCK I would like to have the ability to read at least SOME Kanjis ...
24th-May-2009 09:15 pm (UTC)
No, it wasn't. I know how Rosenkaefer look like.
Nice new pic btw~

Hmmm who knows... you might have told people in your class how 'cruel' the snakes really are, and make them never buy the snakes of his shop.
The story is interesting though... *imagines little you with her nose pressed against the shopwindow* ... heehee~

Just learn it... x3
25th-May-2009 04:40 am (UTC)
Just learn it? Gosh. If that would be so easy!!

I tried to READ the backside of the card (my last e-mail). I know, what he wrote down there, but in Wadoku and another Japanese dictionary, the Kanjis are different. He found it in "Babel-Fish".

Maybe I'm not made for Kanjis as my handwriting is terribly bad AND I am totally untalented in painting and sketching, too.

Uuuhh, it was time for a new pic, and I'm eager for lots of Mao (eh, and Satsuki's, hehehe) ...
25th-May-2009 06:41 am (UTC)
Well, I know what I'm talking about, ne.

Kanjis can hardly be different... But never you trust babelfish, it's the craptasticst thing ever. xD

Writing Japanese is a different hand-writing ~
24th-May-2009 09:16 am (UTC)
Un~, your entries are always about everyday stuff, but I always find them so interesting. :)

About what you said about killing smaller animals just because, I agree! I even have a friend that calls me ant-savior. XD I have a Philosophy essay to write on that too, now that I think about it.
24th-May-2009 09:17 pm (UTC)
Lol, not always always, but well, I do lead a life, an everyday life more or less, so that's what I blog about most of the time 8D
... If it's not a certain person. Un.
Thank you x3

Oh wow, thank you for being one of 'these' sort of people. *laughs* ... (I even picked up worms and snails from the street when I was but a child, when I thought they might be stepped on or driven across or the such XDDD)
Philosophy essay ... good luck~ x3
24th-May-2009 08:22 pm (UTC)
I... I really wanted to comment on the whole entry, but your explanation about remembering kanji killed my brain and now I'm not coherent enough to do itXDDD *can't catch a breath from laughing^____^*
24th-May-2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm... Dear 迷宮ちゎん〜 What am I to possibly say...
苦しい言い訳じゃない〜? 笑
Anyway~ *laughs* I'm glad you had fun... with 寝... I have the slight idea you won't really part with this little story either ~ohhellothereupcomingsongbeing泣き出した8D

Roaded on Feb 22nd 2018, 6:37 pm GMT.