Log in

No account? Create an account
When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
Droplets II [One Shot] 
31st-Aug-2007 11:34 pm
mao distorted
Title: Droplets II
Author: outori
Rating: NC-17/R
Pairing: Uruha x Aoi, Aoi POV
Genre: smut, yaoi
Warnings: smut, angst, despair
Disclaimer: Not owning anyone in the story, and I hope, no one is.
Synopsis: Aoi is despairing about having been in love with Uruha for the last 6 months, while Uruha just doesn't seem to want to let slip he actually knows nor does he seem interested. When Aoi is taking a nightly shower, he feels he's being watched...
Comments: It's only called Droplets "II" because I had written a shortfiction called Droplets, which that story is based on. Droplets II is my first fanfiction, so be gentle (*^ー^) And please comment, everyone! Doumo~~ (o^-')b

Droplets II

Cold drops of water running down strands of my soaked sable hair. Only moments ago, the water had been warm, wrapping me in a cosy coat of forgetfulness. Now, with the power turned off, the air is cooling it down, causing tiny hair all over my body to rise, causing me to think.

Facing the white tiled wall, I fixate the drops clinging to the stone, cold, hanging on so tightly. They vibrate when struck by my hot breath. What is it about you…why is it that you fascinate me that much. And what is it about me that makes you stare at me whenever you think I don’t notice. Why is this being complicated. I’m not a complicated character. Not in the way Reita is, anyway.

I push my left hand into the wall, spread my fingers, then slightly clawing at it, I feel the intensity of its coldness against the remains of my own warmth. A light moan, as my knee touches the already ice-cold flagstones. I don’t want the coldness to take over. I know though, if nothing is going to happen soon, it will. Because I will turn away from you. I just can’t bear your penetrating gazes, not, when you disguise them that much. Not, when you seem to be ashamed of them.

I know you’re still watching me. Watching me from behind there, where you thought I’d never notice you voyeuring. But I did notice. I always notice. Even from here, I could almost hear your panting despite the gushing water when I ran my hands pleasurably over my body, touching myself.

The only reason for why you had the balls to follow me to the showers in first place is, because you were sure no one would catch you doing so. The band and the staff are probably all packed up in their beds. It’s late. The Gods know for why I always take my showers late. Or early, whatever you prefer. Now, your looks piercing through me so fiercely, I could almost see them reflect before me on the stones. I could almost feel you get a hard-on.

I exhale, heavily, see the drops tremble as I bring my body closer the the whiteness, its cold spreading out, taking advantage of my nakedness. I’m so close now, my chest almost touches the stone. My breath is echoing back from it, hitting my face. I close my eyes, dragging my hand slowly along the wall, scratching it with my black-polished nails, as if trying to break through it into a different side of reality.

A reality in which we have each other. This is unbearable.

Could I just hear you shuffling your feet, nervous, undecided, engorged.

The cold both arouses me and puts me off. It makes me want your warmth more than I ever longed for it. It makes me want you to cover me with you, heat me up. I fear the cold. I hate it when it enters my mind like the slow, slithering venom it is, wrapping itself around my feelings, corrupting them, killing them. I don’t want it to happen. It has happened before. And I didn’t like what it made of me. I fear the cold.

I moan, this time more from pain than from pleasure. It has already started. If you are going to turn around like so many times before, leaving me in the hope I would never know you want me… If you are going to turn away, avoiding what you seem to fear so much, I will give up. You never reacted to when I obviously was giving you a come-on. You always either ignore me, or smile and turn it into a joke, even though I so clearly could see the pain in your eyes while doing so. And I’m sure you could see how much it hurts me. I simply can’t understand why you are doing this. I simply can’t. And I just can’t make up my mind if it’s the loss of warmth or the yearning for its regain that makes me ache more, now, this moment.

I want you. I want you to take me. I’ve always wanted you to take me rough, but now I don’t even care about the hows. I don’t care if you conquer me and enter me with all your strength, though that was what I had wanted, always. Now I don’t care. I don’t fucking care, how. I just want you. I want you, before it is too late. And I want you now.

And still I can feel your gaze. My body started trembling slightly, though I don’t think it is because of the cold only. No. Thinking about you has me shivering. I ram my nails into the stone, again, clawing at it so desperate, I don’t know why it has gotten that way, but I can’t bear it anymore. I push my forehead into the wall, thinking of your curved lips.

For fuck’s sake, do something. For once, do something. I’ve been trying enough. You would have to be both blind and dumb if you didn’t notice I want on you. And I know those honey colored eyes of yours aren’t blind. You’re not dumb either. Just fucking dull for what you keep doing.

What was that? I heard a sound. I slightly lift my head, lift my forehead from the stones, single strands of my hair still clinging to it. I hold my breath. No, I won’t move, I’ll keep still, waiting. Are you moving? And if, in what direction?

I don’t want despair to take over and fight back the tears that come welling up. No, just for once… you might change your mind.

A rustling sound. Then, nothing. No, I don’t want to hear you walking away again. Before I hear that, I’d rather rip my ears out with my bare hands. Suddenly I notice that I still haven’t caught new breath, and inhale abruptly, causing my chest to expand promptly and press against the white ice in front of me. I moan slightly from the cold, unpredicted, unwanted.

The door of the shower slides open, a shuffling of feet, then it slams back shut. I hold back a gasp.

This is you, isn’t it. The mere thought causes me to flush. How peculiar. I am not exactly one to color up easily. Usually it is me who makes others blush, not the other way around. I bite my lower lip, playing with my piercing, keeping still, not daring to move, out of fear that whatever I just heard is nothing but a phantom, a fantasy my wrecked mind made up.

But it isn’t just a figment of my mind. I can hear you breathing behind me, shallow, yet inconsistent, as if you didn’t want me to hear you breathe. As if you were afraid that if I heard you, the fact that you just stepped into a shower with me would become surprisingly real. I close my eyes as my lips start to tremble slightly. It is too cold. My body is already growing goosebumps and my mind is reacting so painfully slow. Or maybe that isn’t because of the coldness…

Suddenly, you draw near, standing right behind me so close that I can feel your body-heat emanating from your chest. Your breath strikes my wet neck as you exhale quickly and I straighten up a bit. I don’t really want to think about this. Even though I know, everything about me KNOWS that you’re there, a part of me is still in doubt. I have been wishing for something like this for so long; now that my wish has apparently come true, a part of me starts wondering if I really want it to come true. Maybe, even though I have been torturing myself with my yearning thoughts about you, about us, for the last six months, maybe it isn’t really you I want.

I know I am being foolish. I’m only afraid. Of course it is you I want. I want you more than anything else, I need you more than anything else. And there you are behind me, and I don’t dare move, hoping you’ll have enough courage to actually touch me or say something. Because if you don’t I know I might scare you away with acting of my own accord. Patience. Patience… I open my dark eyes again and stare at the droplets in front of my face. Stare at them so intently, trying to see your reflection in them, your face, the expression in your hazel eyes. But they tell me nothing.

Your breath strikes me again, and I move my head, slightly, wet hair brushing against the nape of my neck. It is so quiet in here, I can hear it when you move only slightly. Solitary waterdrops dripping down from the shower-head are next to our breaths the only real sounds there are. I’m burning to look into your misty brown eyes, longing for your lips, yearning for your touch so much, but I restrain myself. It is an agony. Ha! Everytime we play that fucking song I have to think of my own damned life. Thank you, Ruki.

Something yanks me from my bitter thoughts. It is two hesitant hands sliding slowly over my waist, oh so tentative to my stomach. Oh fuck. I moan lightly, almost imperceptibly. I can feel your sand coloured hair brush my back as you bring your head closer to mine, bringing your lips close to my neck. I can even hear how your lips are parting to say something, the breath held back as you decide, not to. You swallow. I can almost smell your fear. I breathe in, you keep still. Those slender, strong hands of yours are trembling. I breathe out, your hands wander wavering over my firm belly. The moment your right ring finger touches the scar from the bellypiercing I used to wear, your hands freeze.

“Aoi…” You want to say more, but can’t bring about. Instead, you sigh, and press your chest against my back. You’re not wearing any shirt, I realize smiling. Good boy, Uruha. I can almost see before my inner eye how you were standing outside on your watching point, wrestling with yourself, torn between coming here and leaving, taking off your shirt as a pouting defense against all fears. ‘I took off my shirt already. Now I have to do this.’ A laughing sound escapes my lips, and I press myself gently against you. This feels... so good.

You sigh again, your hair brushing my neck and the side of my face, as you place a chaste kiss on my left shoulder. Your left hand wanders up my stomach to my chest, rather plucky rubbing my breast muscle as you pull me closer with your other hand. Damn, now I can even feel your hard-on in your shorts, pressing into my ass. Fuck. This is torture. But to be honest, more the kind of torture I like.

Not holding back my little moan, I prop myself up at the tiles, straightening up as I rub my back against your warm, dry chest, pushing gently into you, leaning my head back over your shoulder. Is it possible, you’re even getting harder as I do this.

You bow your head lightly, tilt it, softly kiss the front of my neck with quivering lips. Not letting go off my neck, you start kiss-licking it gently.

“Mmmmmhhh” I say, oh damn this is so good… Motivated, you squeeze my breast slightly, the fingers of your other hand move down over my belly button, stroke it, playfully tickle its rim, tease my tender skin. I exhale rather heavily, my lips slightly parted in pleasure, the sides of my nose quivering in anticipation. Give me more of you. I’m getting a hard-on myself now.

You stop kissing my neck and chuckle lightly. Ah, you’ve probably seen my erection. That is just fine. I want you to see what you are doing to me. I want you to feel what you are doing to me. I press myself up against you again, turning my head, brushing your warm, soft cheek with my nose and lips.

“I… I don’t…” you start, but I quickly seize your trembling lips with mine before you can say anything. Moaning softly into my mouth, you press your lips closer to mine. Starting to kiss you gently, lovingly, I turn around, wrapping my muscular arms around your beautifully shaped shoulders. You’re so strong. I feel your shoulder blades with my fingers as our kiss grows more passionately, I glide my hands down your naked spine, as yours grab my hips to pull me into you. As our crotches touch, our erections rubbing at each other, we both groan into each other mouthes. Your hands seizing my back now desperately, I can feel your tongue playing against my lips, licking between them, suddenly forcing its way into my mouth. I try to suck at your tongue hungrily, wildly, as you explore the inside of my mouth with it, pushing me hard against the wall now, your hands sliding to my chest, seizing my breast muscles. I moan. Grabbing and squeezing my left breast with one hand, you start playing with the nipple of my other hand, insatiably. Suddenly I grasp your tongue with my teeth, softly bite it. A long, louder moan. Shit, I love your moaning. I want to make you moan all night.

Maybe I bit a little too hard, you draw back all of a sudden, but only to kiss-lick my lips, my nose, kiss my cheeks hotly, my forehead, taking my head into your hands now, placing a gentle, loving kiss on my mouth, so gently it almost makes me cry. Frozen for an instant, I pull you closer, pushing your shoulders into me, answering your kiss, again, my lip piercing brushing over your lower lip, suddenly you grab it with your teeth as you put your slender hands on my breast, pushing me into the cold white wall again, pushing your own body close to mine, start pulling at my piercing, only lightly, you stop as my moans sound painful rather than filled with pleasure. “Gomen… ” you mumble and lick excusing over my crescent lower lip, my chin, tracing my jawbone with your hot, wet lips, tickling my ear with your tongue. I moan again, kissing the side of your neck, nipping at it slightly as your licking grows fiercer, wilder, you breathe so hotly into my ear I grow goose bumps all over. You bite-pull my earlobe the second I bite your neck, and we both moan at the same time, yanking drawing back just to attack each others lips again.

This time, I push my tongue into your mouth, pressing and holding down yours, or trying to hold it down, but yours starts wrestling with mine, dance-wrestling, you’re so fucking skilled it blasts my every thought. I want to drown in your mouth.

While your hands massage my breast, I rub-massage mine down your chest to your stomach, to your pants. I finger with the rim of it, pushing the tips of my fingers in at your sides. Ha…. so you’re really not wearing anything under your short pants, I notice grinning. Well, sometimes I had wondered.

Pulling my fingers out, pushing them right in again, then sliding them to your back, to the front, you groan and push your cock panting against mine, as if wanting to tell me that the fabric of your pants was rather uncomfortably restricting. I gasp at feeling the warmth of your crotch. Starting to grow weak from wrestling with you, I let you take over, take over my mouth, wondering if you’ll ever tire out at all.

Swiftly, I push my hands down inside the front of your pants, grabbing your erection. A muffled noise from your lips, a gasp, followed by a shiver running through your body. I smirk. Damn, you feel good.

Though I really want to do you the little favour, I release you and glide my hands over your chest again, pushing against you, continuing to kiss your parted, surprised lips, pulling at your upper lip with my teeth as I scratch lightly over your breast. I can feel your lips quivering from the deep moan rising up your throat. Panting, you grasp my hands and shove them down into your pants again. I laugh softly against your lips, and can feel you smiling back. Our kiss growing wilder, passionately you’re lapping my lips as I start to stroke the length of your member, run them lightly up and down it, teasingly brushing over its head.

“Oh fuck… Aoi…”, not more than muffled noises coming from your lips, mixed up with never ceasing moans. You push me into the wall once more, your fingers digging into the flesh of my arms “I… I want…”, you turn your head, rubbing your cheek against mine, licking up the sweat from my forehead, temples and neck, nipping it, then bite-kissing it, violently biting as I flick over your cock’s head again, “I want…”, you just pant, I can hardly hear the words, “t...to take… “, still you are biting the side of my neck, damn, I throw my head back, wanting you to dig your teeth into its front, fuck, while grabbing your engorged penis with my strong and guitar-skilled left, “… FUCK, stop it Aoi, I want… I want to take you!” you blurt out, seizing my hand with yours, stopping to bite me, looking me in the eyes.

You look like a vixen. Or a sphinx. With those deep, hazy, seductive eyes that make me forget anything but you. They make me want to come right here and now. I swallow hard to fight down the urge to actually do so, my adams-apple bobbing hard. Warm breath strikes my face as you release the suddenly drawn in air. Calmer, in a low voice, you continue “I want to take you… against the wall… don’t… make me come before that.” One of your little charming smiles as you push my hands away and push your pants down yourself. Damn I like it when you know exactly what you want.

Just as you’re about to take up nipping my neck again, I grin slyly: “Chigau. No.”

Startled, you straighten up again, looking at me, clearly confused. Your eyes search mine for an answer to your unasked question.

My grin grows broader as I tickle you teasingly under your chin. I can see it makes you furious. Both the fact that I am petting you, playing with you, and that I said you weren’t right. “Mmmmmm… No”, I repeat, “I want you to take me against the wall.” I sniffle, causing you to chuckle, then grin in a way I’ve never seen you grin before. It’s more the way Ruki grins on stage, when he’s all adrenalized, blatantly showing the fans his “I know you want me”-face. And with one quick motion you grasp me by the shoulders and turn me around violently, groaning as you push the head of your cock unprepared up my ass with one strong hipthrust, forcing a moan out of me that I’m sure the whole block must have heard. Digging my nails into the tiles, propping myself up, my tensed, wrinkled forehead pushed into the stone, I pant your name. You don’t make any further moves down there, and I am somewhat grateful. This was, though wanted, very surprising. It’s not that I’m a virgin when it comes to buttsex. But frankly, you’re big.

Your lips crush against my left shoulder, kissing it, licking it, biting it hard. I groan. You lick the patch you just bit and move upwards to the nape of my neck, pushing my hair away with your face, licking me up to my hairline, kissing me there long and deep, before moving to the other side of my neck and back again. I close my eyes in pleasure, moan.

Just as you grasp my engorged cock, you start thrusting your slim hips fiercely, groaning consistently. Oh fuck. Fuck. I moan so deeply I can feel the moan reverberating through my naked, firm body. You start pumping me. Tired of teasing games, right down to the point. Thrusting and ever thrusting as you are, I don’t feel like I could do anything but rub steadily up against you and moan. I’m totally in your power, and it feels so fucking great. Your hand releases and encloses me steadily, occasionally flicking your index finger over my head, brushing my precum. Fuck, if you’re going to continue like that, I’ll come before you even had your cock into me full-length.

Your lips on my neck, bite-licking me restlessly. Your right hand wandering over my chest, finding my right nipple, pinching it. Your cock in my ass. Fuck. You’re so warm. Moan. I love this. Moan. Every inch of my body seems to be covered in heat.

Suddenly you throw your head back, panting, thrusting even harder, faster, deeper, pumping me almost grimly now, I know I’ll be starting having serious spasms every second now. You bring your head back down, your face pressed against my shoulder. The harder you’re ramming your cock into me the more I moan; the more I moan, the more you groan muffled into my shoulder, and still you’re going faster, the same rhythm and speed with both your hands and body, I think I’m about to die. “Oh fuck… Gods…” I bang my right fist into the wall as I am about to come, bang it onto the stone over and over again as I can feel how your big swollen member suddenly releases all its seed into me in one hefty blow. You groan like a wild animal as you give me the rest, until I convulsing spurt all over the tiles in front of me. Shit. I exhale heavily. My hand hurts, but I don’t really notice.

You moan, or sigh, I’m not really sure, and draw out from me and away. Your hands leave my body limply. I tense up. What’s this?

Still panting from our husky thrill, I am suddenly alert. I can hear you grabbing and pulling up your pants as if nervous, the little snapping sound as you release your grip on them over your hips, a shuffling of feet, fast, the door gliding up, then slamming shut again for its second time tonight. I swallow. No. No no. No. Your naked feet are scurrying over the floor, stopping once, a rustling sound, I guess you’re gathering up the rest of your clothes. Then, the fast tapping as you hurry away in -what? Fear? Horror? Embarrassment? Dis...gust?

My lips start trembling. No… please... no. Tears are welling up. Sharply and bitterly they press against my half-closed eyelids. I whimper against the stones, driving my nails forcefully into the tiles, scratching over them as a wailing sound leaves my uncontrollably twitching lips. As I slowly slide down the wall, I only partially notice the trace of crimson my hands leave on the snowy white.

This is… no. Just… no.

My body starts shaking and trembling as hot salty tears start running down my cheeks, start to wet my naked body.

Crouched on the cold floor, I press up against the whiteness, shivering, sobbing, crying mutely. I feel the sharp claws of despair climbing up my soul. I don’t… understand.

If this was all that I ever wanted… all that I could ever have asked for. Why… why does it now feel this way? Why does it feel as if I’d just been raped?

Cold. I can feel the coldness closing in on me. It is wrapping its sharp, icy wings around me, constricting me.

I’m losing it, I … can’t think. I… feel like suffocating in my tears, feel strangled by my own neck, slashed and stabbed by my fingers now digging into my sides as I wrap my arms around me in an attempt to shield myself from this … emptiness… I... can’t…


Everything is so


Please comment after reading! It's my first fanfiction, so tell me what you think PURIIZU (=⌒▽⌒=)

Fanfiction Archive
31st-Aug-2007 11:43 pm (UTC)
無名〜One with no name
I don't know what to say apart from, you did it. You described and captured each moment, feeling and thought. I am both hot and cold.

Killed by the frost,scorched by the fire.
31st-Aug-2007 11:52 pm (UTC)
Doumo doumo o(*^o^)
I'm very glad you ... well, "feel" about it. XD You're imaginary is, as usual, very... elementary and imaginative. Damn what am I saying... Ah... it's late... again. *can't say or write proper things when it's too late*

loved your komento.
9th-Apr-2008 01:24 am (UTC)
You told me to read more of your fics.
I did.
Every single one you have written so far.

I must say, you are amazing.
9th-Apr-2008 02:01 am (UTC)

Gods. ... That comment came so unexpected ... at that to my oldest fic. o-o [I should have more coming, someday, after that essay.]

I feel honored ( a lot) that you read them all.
And, well ^^; Just... thank you. Very much ♡

You're amazing to like them all <33
1st-Sep-2007 12:39 pm (UTC)
[Can you believe it? I actually have an Aoi icon!]

You really tricked me there; I didn't think this fic would end badly but I'm glad it did; the angst really complimented the rest well. I definitely loved the fact that you used first-person to explain this fanfic because I think it probably made it much easier for the reader to get a sense of what was going on--with Aoi, that is.

Now, after having said that, I must give you a few pointers!
- the thing I noted the most often was that your punctuation was frequently in the wrong place. I mean, it's not something terribly bad--considering that the writing itself was quite great--but maybe you should get someone to review your fic for you to adjust punctuation before you post.
- for posting on other comms, you should put a link to your post on your own journal so that everyone reviews in the same place (it's just easier to have all the comments in one place, in my opinion) and if you're not sure about how to do it, just ask XD [I can promise it's not as infuriating as an LJ-cut XD]
- Well, I suppose this should have gone in with punctuation, but, you had some mistakes in syntax and grammar here and there but not that much; anyway, it's up to you whether a beta reader would help or not.
- lastly, I would avoid using words like 'kiss-licking' since they're really two sepeate actions but it's not really a mistake or anything. Personally, I would write 'kissing and licking' but that's just me; it's really a preference for the author *pokes you*

Well, I think I've babbled enough now... great work! (^----^)<33
1st-Sep-2007 10:59 pm (UTC)
[Guess I have to believe it since I can see it XXD]

Thanks for your constructive critisism (hate that word though XD I get a tongue in my knot for only writing it)

*bows for the great master* No wait... *bows for the great mistress* XXD
3rd-Sep-2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
Lol, I really hate that word too. Even just saying it... X|
Anyway, just look at it this way; it's just punctuation, not the story itself <3
1st-Sep-2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
This was so awsome!!! I loved it!!
Nice job ^^b
Poor Aoi (T_T)
1st-Sep-2007 11:00 pm (UTC)
(*⌒∇⌒) Sank yuuu~
*has to read some fanfic tonight* how about... one of yours XDD
Yay... *is gonna do that* ^__^
28th-Aug-2008 03:05 pm (UTC)
Wow...just wow


I'm just speechless. I mean everything that had happened in such detail then the ending. Poor Aoi, i just feel like giving him a hug

It was great, i love your writing
28th-Aug-2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
*smiles* Thank you so much.

... and that was my very first fanfic XP Not that I'm ashamed *laughs* I just thought my writing style improved somewhat. Though, I haven't been reading this one for a long time.

Thanks again <3
15th-Jan-2011 09:04 am (UTC)
i'm super late, i guess :D But just glad that i discovered this fic of yours.
The first part, where you described how Aoi felt about Uruha and his voyeurism, gave me goose bumps because of its tension.
I don't have a good feeling when i read this line:"maybe it isn’t really you I want", but I just overlooked it, thinking that's only aoi's insercurity about the whole thing. But when the story ended, that line seemed to flash back on my mind, adding to the already hurt ~_~
I couldn't help but hate Uruha in this oneshot. Just feel like grabbling a knife and stab him >_<
Anyway, thank you for writting ^^ You did a great job, considering this is your first fiction. I wonder why you don't write more in this paring :">

15th-Jan-2011 10:07 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much for the comment! I was surprised, as it's so so old *laughs*
I'm glad you were able to feel the story ^ω^

Aw sorry for not having written more of that pairing. It's not been my otp since very early on. It's not totally unlikely I won't write those two anymore, but usually I write UruhaxRuki ones. If you're not totally against that pairing, you should read some though :3
Roaded on Jan 22nd 2018, 6:03 am GMT.