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†·°•~滲む白が揺れる~•°·†
When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
[翻訳] アヲイ - 夕焼けカラス 
14th-Mar-2011 12:46 am
lily
Somehow it feels lonely when I don't do an Awoi song at least every two weeks or so. Weird, right? w

Either way, the kanji are from the 葵/Aoi booklet, romaji and translation is done by me. There's a line that is printed in red in the booklet, I adopted that. Notes are at the end of the translation.

Please don't repost without linking back to this post, thank you~♫


夕焼けカラス
泣いて、泣いて、泣いています。
独り、独り、独りきりで
誰も、誰も、誰もいない
暗い、暗い部屋の中。

痛い、痛いまぶたの裏
遠く、遠く離れていく。
嫌だ、嫌だ、私はもう歩く事も出来ません。

痛々しい感情は純粋故に歪んだ。
好きで好きでたまりません…だから待ちます。

夕焼けこやけ、カラスが鳴いた。
私は一人待ちぼうけ。
何度も呼んだあなたの名前
擦れた声では届かない。

あなたに会いたい…。

あなたがいない日々などどうでもいいと思った。
(結論)
‐私には何も無い‐
迎えに来てよ…。

夕焼けこやけ、カラスが鳴いた。
私は一人待ちぼうけ。
何度も呼んだあなたの名前
擦れた声では届かない。

カラスが飛んだ、屋根から飛んだ
屋根から飛んで消えました。
カラスになろう、カラスになろう。
カラスになって消えたいな…。

ラララ…。


Yuuyake KARASU
naite, naite, naiteimasu.
hitori, hitori, hitorikiri de
dare mo, dare mo, dare mo inai
kurai, kurai heya no naka.

itai, itai mabuta no ura
tooku, tooku hanareteiku. (1)
iya da, iya da, watashi wa mou aruku koto mo dekimasen.

itaitashii kanjou wa junsui yue ni yuganda.
suki de suki de tamarimasen… dakara machimasu.

yuuyake koyake, KARASU ga naita.
atashi (2) wa hitori machibouke.
nandomo yonda anata no namae
kosureta koe de wa todokanai.

anata ni aitai… .

anata ga inai hibi nado doudemo ii to omotta.
(ketsuron)
- watashi ni wa nani mo nai -
mukae ni kite yo… .

yuuyake koyake, KARASU ga naita.
atashi (see 2) wa hitori machibouke.
nandomo yonda anata no namae
kosureta koe de wa todokanai.

KARASU ga tonda, yane kara tonda
yane kara tonde kiemashita.
KARASU ni narou, KARASU ni narou.
KARASU ni natte kietai na… .

RARARA… .


Sunset Crow [0]
I cry, cry, am crying.
Alone, alone, all alone
in a dark, dark room
where no one, no one, no one is.

It hurts, it hurts, the other side of my eyelids
far, far it is going to go away. [1]
I don't want to, don't want to, I cannot walk any more. [2]

My pathetic emotions are pure, therefore they're distorted. [3]
I like you, like you, I can't bear it… so I wait. [4]

Sunset, a little despair, a crow cried [5]
I, alone, wait in vain.
So many times I called out your name
with my chafed voice I don't reach through.

I want to see you… .

I thought that the days without you are fine whatsoever.
(conclusion)
- I don't have anything - [6]

Come to meet me already… .

Sunset, a little despair, a crow cried [see 5]
I, alone, wait in vain.
So many times I called out your name
with my chafed voice I don't reach through.

The crow flew, it flew from the roof
from the roof it flew and vanished.
Shall I become a crow, shall I become a crow.
I want to become a crow and vanish… .

Lalala….


notes
[0] PoV of a woman. Also, the lyrics are quite polite in parts of the song, which might give off a feeling as if the character and whom they are waiting for are not that close/intimate, however it could just add to the feminine note.
[1] Not specifically "it". Not specifically "you" either. Or anything, for that matter.
[2] I chose "I don't want to" for iya da here. Situations of usage would usually be for example "I don't want to go out with that guy, he's gross" or "Iyaa no mom, I don't want to eat the spinach" etc. It has this feeling of reluctance, mildly said, about it.
[3] Distorted/perverted.
[4] One could translate this "like" as "love" as well, but since there's a different word to express especially that, I go with "like". Just note that it's more a love kind of like.
[5] Play on words, yake in itself is "despair", while yuuyake literally means "evening burn", or in that connection "evening despair".
[6] This line was kind of clear to me, until I'd read it one time too often, and suddenly it started puzzling me w. Now it made me think it could also mean "To me, it's nothing."

(1) He sings ~yuku instead of ~iku. It means the same in this case, it's just a different choice/preference of vocalization.
(2) I hear him sing atashi here instead of watashi. Since the POV in the song doesn't change, it's not really that important.


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I... don't even understand how come there's so many notes |D Either way. I quite enjoy this song.

Feel free to comment and object


For more, feel free to check out my lyrics translation archive → here

コメント 
16th-Mar-2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
無名〜One with no name
Hello,
I came around looking for a translation for this song so thank you for doing it :)
I used to translate lyrics when I was younger, but I could never really get the English to flow nicely. I see the same thing happening here, so I thought I'd share another translation I ran across. I haven't looked into who wrote it, etc, because I just wanted the lyrics, but maybe you can learn some pointers on how to simplify and be more direct in the translation.

http://www.oocities.org/weirdo975/lyrics/Awoi-Yuuyake_Karasu.txt

Then you would really only need two notes. 1) this song is most likely in the viewpoint of a woman 2) there could be a play on words: yake of yuuyake meaning despair :)

I'm all for translators and figuring out little things like that in a song always made me so giddy <3 Thank you for loving this song as much as I do :) I really wish it was in the viewpoint of a man though. It being a woman kinda kills it lol he could be a really nice polite man hahaha Also, maybe it's because I listen mostly to male vocalists, but repeating words over and over again and turning into animals seems like a very -manly- thing to do xD
It doesn't seem like this person ain't ever coming back :p

'Yum_esup (my phone won't let me log in)
16th-Mar-2012 08:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the comment!
The other translation was an interesting read, and I'm pretty sure I might have translated this or that a little differently now a year later.

However I must say that I personally don't really have a problem with English wordflow, for that is not what my lyrics translations are aiming at.
I myself dislike when translations of Japanese lyrics are "too English/whichever language", if you know what I mean. I'm not intending to make English lyrics out of Japanese ones - I am trying to translate and make them understandable for people who do not understand Japanese well, while trying to lose as little as possible of the original - that also includes the original setting of words. If at all possible, I'll try to keep to the original structure. Obviously that isn't possible within single sentences, and often it is not possible at all, but that's Japanese lyrics for you.
There are lots of nice translations of lyrics out there, however what personally bugs me about them often, is that the translators already interpret parts of the songs. I myself see myself more as a medium than an interpreter (for lyrics, that is) - I don't want to give the reader a stiff form "this is what the lyrics mean", but something they may interpret themselves "see, this could mean this... however this is also possible." Therefor also the tendency to many notes.

It is exactly the 'figuring out little things' is something I don't want to keep for myself only, by simply translating it the way I think is right and never give the reader a hint for other possibilities of viewing something.

I understand that some people want things black and white. However that is hardly what they'll get here w

As for the man/woman thing... I've always felt this as a very manly song, but oops, well so Mr Otogi apparently intended it to be sung by a woman? XD Well okay then. Happens, especially with Japanese, orz... Yet, it still feels a lot like his own heart to me, just that he worded things as if it were a woman feeling all those feels, not himself. Kehe. You can't fool usssss... Welp, who knows.
Roaded on Oct 20th 2017, 11:42 pm GMT.