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†·°•~滲む白が揺れる~•°·†
When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
My run in with the crazies (and the nice) 
11th-Apr-2015 05:40 pm
Matenrou
Is it because it's spring? I mean, the climate changes have been severe. I'm talking 6℃ jumping to 20℃ kind of severe. Whether weather was what wrought it around, I do not know, but yes lately, it seems the crazies and weird have been on the rise. Some of them have been cause to both alertness and awareness of self, for me.

Yesterday at work, this young Russian guy comes in, interested in a backpack you can put your laptop in. I show him a model, he's liking it, but it's blue and he doesn't like blue. The model also comes in black, and I check the system, it says we're supposed to have 2 but it's nowhere to be seen. He's like "Oh that's terrible. It says you should have it, right? Well where is it!"
Yeah it did sound pretty arrogant and "you all know nothing Jon Snow". I had looked for that backpack everywhere in the storing room, my co-worker rummaged through all the boxes we had that were still unpacked, and we didn't find it. Like, we did our best, and he was still being snobbish about it.

He didn't want the blue, but said he'd take a little walk and possibly come back later, in case he didn't find anything better.

Two minutes after he'd left, I'd found the black ones. Hah.

Okay, so about half an hour later, he comes back, and I'm like "Good you came back, see, it paid off. We got the black one for you now."
"Oh, that's amazing!!!"
Good. He also wanted a jacket. So I take him over to the jackets. I guessed he might like the black ones, I was right. We chat a bit, he's actually quite nice (the snobbishness seems a thing with Russians though. When I told this story my best friend, she says that all the Russians she knows, are pretty bleeping arrogant haha. Not saying they aren't nice. But arrogant, yes. We're guessing that those that actually get the chance? to leave their country are probably all well educated, then add a lot of cultural facts that might make the result a, in our eyes, snobbish person). He's totally blown away by my English, doesn't believe me when I say it's not my mother tongue and that I've been born here and all that. He's like "No no, that's impossssible. Your English is so great! I love it! I don't meet many people here who are so comfortable with joking in English! They all speak a little and all that..."
Me "Yeah, a little bit"
He *looks at me all D:* "Yeah! Wow! No accent at all! It's so perfect!"
Me, being polite, asked him where he was from, despite it being very audible *laughs* He then told me this story of him talking to this girl a while back who was all like "Oh man you can like totally hear like that ur from Russia duh" (I'm interpreting her character and speech pattern based on what he told me about her), and he said that, as their conversation had progressed, it was "clearly noticeable that she... ... had no education..."

Nice way of putting it.
Anyway, despite being snobbish, he also was nice, and fun to talk to (because he is, yes, well educated), and in the end he was so happy, he actually approached me like "Hey, I think you're really cool, can we be friends?" and when I probably made a face, he was very quick to add a "no romance attached!!!" and I was like "yeah ok, why not, sounds cool"
So we exchanged email addresses. At which he told me about the first time he'd exchanged email addresses with a girl he thought she'd dumped him, because she'd not given him her phone number. Now he knows it's the "usual way" here.

That was quite astonishing. I don't exactly get a lot of people walking up to me saying "Hey I want to be your friend", although isn't that exactly what you'd want to happen? So I shall see whether we can be friends :D Him being male and all I am a little cautious obviously, but as long as they don't come onto me I like guys. [Until that moment. Then it all goes downhill.]
Also I am a little cautious, because while he did say the "no romance" thing, before all that when we'd been to the jackets, there'd also been this:
Him: You know maybe I should get a girlfriend before I get a backpack and a jacket...
Me: *dryly* Yeah well I don't know, maybe there's a girlfriend shop in the mall?
Him: *surprised* What? Hahah nooo... what, a brothel??
Me: *even drier* There actually is one close by.
He seemed clearly flustered, yet amused, by the whole idea of "girlfriend shop", and told me how unusual it is in Russia to talk? about these things? openly? Many questionmarks here. I am not sure about you, but when I think of Russia, the image of prostitutes doesn't take long to pop up, and he's saying they're basically not trying to speak of it? Possible. I know very little of Russia and its culture.

Before he left, he told me his name, and that was pretty funny too, that name exchange. He didn't get mine the first time around (as usual xD), and before he said his, he was like "Ok, now, listen up *says name very clearly*"
Me: *repeats name as she's heard it*
Him: O___O Woah. Wow. Yes. Very good. Good.

Kehehehe. We'd also talked a little about Japan, and he's very interested, and I can talk a lot about Japan and Japanese, so I guess this is the topic for our coffee-meet up or something soon :D


Today, besides all the moody and odd people coming, business was going slow and it was pretty much meh. Then this old man comes in, he raises his hand in a greeting, and I immediately recognise him as the one customer I'd spent quite a while with a few weeks back. He's very much into bright colours, and I had ordered a few brightly coloured shirts for him. (Which he didn't buy, none of them, OTL)
I had made some impression on him back then, so he'd already established with himself that I am "smart" and "amiable". He immediately approached me, we shook hands, and were back in the friendly talking thing. This time, he'd brought his wife, too. They wanted to try said shirts and maybe look for some more.

So the thing with him is, he's very nice, but doesn't really know, or care, about personal space. Quite tall, white hair, one lazy eye, cigarette fingers, soft voice.

During our conversations and consulting today, he started to repeatedly call me his "little darling", also as we looked for shirts that would work even better for him. All good so far, cute really, my co-workers found it nice too. Just a little wacky, you know, an oddball, but amiable.

After a while he came to the conclusion he'd rather have that one shirt in the catalogue, the one we definitely did not have in the store, and whether I could please order it for him. Of course I would, but a part of my patience was running thin. That moment I thought, if he's just going to order another shirt that he won't buy, and we'll have it in the store for the whole season because no one's going to buy it... yeah, not really my problem, but I do have a certain sense of responsibility for the store, so I didn't like the idea. Besides, we had already looked through the catalogue the last time, and he was only interested in those I had ordered for him, which he didn't like in the end.
Anyway, so the following happened more or less like this:

Me leafing through the catalogue.
Him coming up beside me to look into the catalogue, actually on the staff side of the table, but I let him be.
Him pointing out the shirt he likes, his wife also likes it.
Me: So you are sure you want this white one?
Him: Yes yes my little darling, exactly that one.
Me: And not in the green tone either? [he loved the bright greens and blues before]
Him: No no, little darling *puts hand lightly around me as he explains idek* you see, ... [I have mentioned the part about the personal space. It didn't bother me in his case. Wacky, harmless.]
Me: Alright, so I'll order the white one.
Him: *moving to the other side of the table, all happy I'll make the order* Yes, and then just call me again when it's here, but you know, just like laaaast time, it probably will take a few weeks before I can come get it.
Me: That's not a problem at all, we'll just call you, and you come whenever you want to :)
Him: That sounds great darling, but you know, if you call me on thursday, mayybe I'll already be able to pick it up on Saturday, you know? Maybe not!
Me: That is entirely fine! [I still have his data from last time so I don't ask for it]
Him: Great! Then I'll see you--
Me: Hold up a moment there, let me check whether it's available first. [he stays, I check it. Of course, the white one isn't available. As if I'd known.] Ah, I'm sorry to say that, but the shirt you want isn't available.
Him: Whatever do you mean?
Me: It's sold out, I can't order it.
Him: Can you get it from another store?
The thing is, we used to do that all the time, order from another store, but since the management changed it only happened once or twice. Plus, the only store in Munich that had it, was one that doesn't really ~like~ us, or any of the other stores, for that matter. So I'm like "dammit" on the inside.
Me: I'm not sure, we don't really send to other stores anymore...
Now this is where things turned a little... off.
Him: Now, come on, show me what you can do. You must surely be capable of that, show me you're worth it. [WHAT THE ACTUAL WHAT]
Me: That store usually doesn't send things...
I'm looking to my co-worker, she shrugs and says, maybe if they're having a good day, so go on and try. She leaves at this point I think.
Him: Impress me. Show me you're worth it. [IS HE A FUCKING DOM]
Me: I'll try, but I can't promise anything.
Him: If you don't, you know, I might just [he said something before that which I can't recall right now], and bend you over my knee and give you a good spanking. [. . .]
Me: No, you definitely won't do that. That's guaranteed. [it kind of sounded like a joke, so I was thinking more like "before you get to spank someone like me, someone like me will spank you till you're purple", but anyway]
Him: Oh no, I really enjoy doing those things.
I think I retorted something similarly cool and dry about how that's definitely not going to happen. I call the store, they take the phone (WOAH, that's a rarity in itself) and as I ask for the article, it takes a while etc etc, the guy on the line tells me he'll put it away for us. That doesn't mean they're actually going to send it lmao, but at least I made the impossible possible.
Him: So it worked out?
Me: Yes, I believe so.
The rest was an entirely normal goodbye/see you thing.

So. It was all done in a manner that I didn't feel threatened or anything, and while he said it he still had this amiable air, but all my fucking neon signal lamps had gone off on the inside. I don't think he was joking. Now I also don't think he was serious about spanking me, it didn't feel like it, but it did feel like he'd definitely be into spanking women. Which is entirely fine if you're in a dom/sub relationship, or even if you don't give it a title, at least if the woman is into it. Now, you can never know for sure of course, but his generation isn't exactly the "we are all aware of BDSM and practice it responsibly" kind of generation, it's closer to the "my
wife is my property and if she doesn't behave I will beat her" way of mind. There didn't seem to be fear between the two of them, and yet I got that air of possible abuse.

It did affect me a little. It really made me a little moody after. The 'thinking too deeply' kind of moody.


However, someone else today brought that all back around, evened out the scales so to speak, with uncalled for niceness.
After work - I left earlier than originally planned, since I'd taken over someone's shift yesterday, a girl who'd reported in sick - I went to that French bakery to get myself a chocolate macaron. Because I felt I totally deserved that. I was famished, too.

So as I arrive at their place, I see the one staff in the back of the store on his phone with a huge grin, seemingly chatting with someone online. I grin and go like "Hii~~♪" as I go up to the bakery goods. He jumps up "Hi!"
"A chocolate macaron please."
He's still smiling, and wraps up the macaron.
"Anything else?"
No, nothing else, WAIT I'M FAMISHED AND NOT IN CONTROL THOSE THINGS LOOK GOOD
"Uh actually, one of these...", I point at triangles made of flaky pastry, with almonds and powdered sugar on top.
He grabs another bag, and puts it in. Then grabs the second one, and puts it in, too.
"Uhm, one...", I stress again.
He looks up, smiles. "I'm giving you one extra. That's from me."
I'm puzzled, but smile across my whole face. "... Thank you! Wow. Thank you, haha!" I don't know what else to say.
He says "For your breakfast, tomorrow", smiles, takes my money and gives me the change. I walk away with another couple of thank yous, and such a HUGE GRIN on my face oh my gods.

That was so fucking nice.

no title


And it wasn't even like they'd been on the not-so-good side anymore. They had a vanilla filling on the inside and OH GODS it was so good.

And yes, I saved one for tomorrow morning 83



So much about this weekend so far.
コメント 
12th-Apr-2015 07:29 am (UTC)
As usual, it's a pleasure reading your entries, no matter what it's all about.

However, this entry first gave me the feeling of being on holiday in the Dominican Republic again - there you meet lots of Russian or Czech people who all behave in the same unpleasing way.

Then the journey through your lines pitchforked me into a Thriller: a harder version of "50 Shades of Grey", including poor children, pedophilia and cruelties against women in general.

I HATE people who do not feel and therefor respect your personal boundaries. Patrick Swayze says "This is my dancing area..." when he teaches his "Baby" in "Dirty Dancing". Haha, that was the non-explicit version of complying with regulations concerning privacy and the invisible borderlines.

The third part of your story released the dedicated reader (so to speak: the reader who held his breath may relax again) and gives a happy ending in the shape of delicious pastry plus a nice, not-arrogant and not-dom behaving guy.

Great Reading, Great Story-Telling!!
If I were the editor of some publishing house, I would beg you to write more, send in the manuscript ASAP and pay you a generous front money!!!
17th-Apr-2015 08:16 pm (UTC)
Haha, aww, thank you ♡

Oddly enough, the people I met in actual Russia were so so different! Guess it's true for a lot of people though - those you see in other countries are often the dicks -_-' I mean, Russians, Chinese, Germans, ... in other countries often than not are ***, haha...

I know -_-' I had wondered for a short moment whether he'd seen that atrocity in the cinemas, if it's his hobby after all...

Personal space is very important, cultural and otherwise! It's also important to tell people when they're too close. In his case, at that moment, I didn't mind it so I didn't feel attacked, but under normal circumstances, with other people, I would have probably slunk away and out of reach lol.

You're so lovely analyzing my entry *laughs* I'm glad you had fun reading, I had fun reading your comment, too. (Also that pastry was SO GOOD OMG)

OKAY GIVE ME A JOB AS COLUMNIST OR SOMETHING haha
18th-Apr-2015 06:36 am (UTC)
Oh, the last paragraph is flattering *blushes* - thanks sweetheart!

Well, "Gruesome days at the JW store" could attract some attention, couldn't it? Add a short description containing buzzwords/-phrases like
- "innocent beautiful woman" (actually she's a hidden witch with huge powers - but this only comes up after 5 or 6 chapters, haha),
- "crime scene investigation in shopping mall: young employee uncovers dangerous child molestor" (only the dedicated reader knows the horrible deeds of this guy because the book starts with some explicit torture descriptions),
"extraordinary love story between two anxious and prestressed characters" (he hides his feelings because he can sense that she was wounded deeply before, so he stays up night after night to bake the most delicious pastry, including some secret ingredients - only for her. He waits days after day for her to come back to the store. Of course he can feel that there is an unseen power within her - this frightens and attracts him ... but what does SHE feel? Can she trust him? Can he make her forget about the past? Will she fall in love with him, or will they only fight the evil in the mall, together? Can she ever disclose the truth about her witchcraft?)

You see: this novel will have three main strings but there will be lots of others too. The reader will be completely flabbergasted about the turnings, he will love the sharp tongue, the wit and the metaphors in this novel. And he will yearn for more!

Of course the author will write Part 2 and 3 after the huge success of the first book.

Shortly afterwards, Hollywood will be knocking on the author's door.

Haha, I could go on like this. No joke: You really should write more. You could publish as e-book without any cost.

Recently, I read an article about a lady who did so! No publisher wanted to print her book, so she just uploaded it and as she had lots of clicks and downloads within a short period, another publisher contacted her and asked for the rights to print the stuff!

Edited at 2015-04-18 06:41 am (UTC)
22nd-Apr-2015 10:15 am (UTC)
I wanted to comment on this much earlier, but since I suck I'm like... two weeks late. D:

It's so nice to meet someone like this (the Russian guy, I mean), isn't it? :D To just make friends as simply as that. Takes a lot of courage to say that, I imagine. Though like you, I'd probably suspect "ulterior motives" at first. XD But hey, as long as he keeps the appropriate distance and is really "only" interested in being friends, that rocks! So you guys still in touch? Is he as nice as he seemed? :D

Argh and that old guy sounds reeeeally weird. I would have been freaked out as hell, no matter how nice he seemed otherwise. That probably doesn't help, does it. XD
But urgh, I have a MAJOR problem with people who don't respect personal space. One reason I changed my dentist (well, the one BEFORE my previous one XD) is that he kept touching my arm while he was talking to me. It might not have been anything "bad", but it really bothers me. If we're not besties, you're not allowed to friggin' touch me. >< Some people just have lower boundaries(?) I suppose, but it still greatly annoys me.

Argh and now I want that thing on the photo you posted. XD Hungryyyy. And wow, what a nice guy to just give you one extra! Stuff like that can really make your day. X)

...I really need to be less slow. The deadness of LJ is rubbing off on me. *le sigh*

Edited at 2015-04-22 10:15 am (UTC)
22nd-Apr-2015 10:48 am (UTC)
Has it been two weeks already 8D Time flies 8D Hello again 8D I'm slow too though, hardly blogging and stuff -_-'

It is! Especially since it's very rare. Sometimes I feel like that with people like "Hey can we be friends", but if at all I usually just ask for their email/skype/whatever in order to keep touch, never directly assault them like that haha! (It would also be quite disappointing if you do it, and then it's like "ok let's be friends" but don't hear from another in weeks... right?) But yeah we're in touch! We write emails and have met up before for ice cream. He's a quite pleasant, interesting and intelligent fellow. He does have that Russian snobbishness about him, but he wraps it in pleasantries, so it's ok x'D I mean, he'd be like "Do you feel accomplished about life? What have you accomplished so far?" and I'm like "THINKS HARD", I could give a very satisfactory answer but you know, here I am, still studying, no actual training work-related, you know, and he's there as PhD, with apparently earth shattering dissertations and whatnot mmmMMMmmhmmmmmm yeah I AM ACCOMPLISHED IN ~LIFE~ just not in that... that... area *waves about with hands*
I'm still fearing the bomb that might be dropped, the non-friend thing, but so far it's good 83

Personal boundaries are so so important. I even get weirded out if family gets too close. I mean, a hands width between our faces is too close. Really. That's reserved for lovers, or stupid friends that I love. but that's it. It can be so scary when it's people you don't feel like you can just push away, like you said a doctor, or teachers or anyone you have some sort of dependency on. Burrrrrr... *shudder* I'm quite bad at telling people to *fo* too, I need to get better at that (I've been worse, at least these days I can get aggressive sometimes 8D). Always have the best retorts in my head, after the person-who-didn't-respect-my-personal-space left.

Hngh, it was sooooo damn goooood... I better not scroll up to look at it D: Nyomomom... And yes, it totally saved the day ♡

Oh hey, also! They had Artefact on Netflix the other day so I got to see it 8D Shit, that was like, exciting like a thriller. (also, pretty faces and eyes and voices hngh ♡ such eye/ear candy) It's really fucked up. I'm glad they got to release the movie after all, shed some light on the record industry. I had no idea, really. Thought that most of the 'big bands' out there had tons of money ("because how could they afford to play in big halls and do massive light shows elsewise"), but that gave me a different perspective.

AND AND! Dir en grey world tour thingy thing thing!!!!! ARE YOU GOING IF WHERE ARE YOU GOINGヽ(´ー`)ノ le excite sorry aaaaah ♡
22nd-Apr-2015 05:36 pm (UTC)
Not only you. I want to blog more but lately all I wanna do is rant about how sorry I'm feeling for myself and I really don't wanna fill my blog with that or it'll drag me even further down the misery spiral. XD

Wheeee that's great that you guys are actually keeping in touch! :D He sounds like quite a character. XD I kind of get how you feel. I have a friend from school (met her in year 7 or so) who's always been super-career-focused and she recently completed her Master's degree while I've always been like "never work more than absolutely necessary" and otherwise indulging in my daydreams of becoming a musician. But I was there when she got the letter saying she had passed her Master's degree and as I watched her do the happy dance, I thought: "...hm, maybe I've done something wrong in life..." XD But eh. We all have our own priorities and we should remember them. :3

Haha oh boy, I know the having the best retorts once the person has left thing. XD Later I think up such good lines, I get genuinely upset over missing the chance to throw them at the person in question. XD I met this girl at the pub the other night and she got pretty "hands-on" very quickly, like nudging me in the side/belly area? NOBODY touches my belly except maybe my boyfriend. -_- First I tried to avoid her, but it turns out she's really nice, just... well, apparently not accustomed to personal space. XD But stuff like that really puts me off at first. It's important to stand your ground and say when you don't want someone to do something to you, so yeah, we both need to get good at that. :3

Ooooooh and yay for "Artifact"! Wasn't it great??? I'm so glad you liked it!!! It's so well-made and it totally had you trembling for Jared & co. And it's very insightful as well!

AND YES OMG OMG DIR EN GREY TOUR *head explodes* FOUR WEEKS LEFT MY BODY IS NOT READY!!!! DDDD8 Ahahah I'm being a total idiot and going to three concerts (Berlin, Dortmund and Eindhoven). Most I've ever gone to during one tour is two so I'm out-fangirling myself big time here. XD ARCHE LIVE!!!!!!

...ARE YOU GOING? BC MAYBE WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER AND SAY HI AND THAT WOULD BE AWESOME 8DDD
30th-Apr-2015 08:16 pm (UTC)
Well I understand that. Don't drag yourself down, that wouldn't be good thing to do. ... ... But BLOG ANYWAY! 8'D

That's right, it's about the priorities. You could have a ton of master degrees, but if it's not what you want nor like to do, then it's worth nothing in the end. If music makes you happy, then pursue it. You might end up a poor beggar somewhere (like Jared ;D) but at least you'd be happy. No regrets. So go all out there and do your thing. :3 And also... some people just have to focus on work or a career to feel like they're worth something, like they achieved something. I'm taking a big leap here, but you seem to be a bit more like me in that regard - you might feel more accomplished when you create something, let your muses go, live. I can't flourish with a ton of things in my back stabbing me because they need to be done. I need lots of time to myself additionally to that lol, so basically, I might already have come to terms with that unless I get super lucky it's unlikely I'll end up with lots of money on my own and a relaxed laid back life in luxury... x'D OR WHO KNOWS! We might all get really famous and get that villa or... idk x'D a few cats in a nice cozy apartment is ok with me... ah... *SHOT*

There's actually a word for that, l'esprit d'escalier. Hehe, it used to be similar for me. I'm not entirely like that anymore, not ~entirely~. I'm not used to people touching, though. Depending on the person I do actually like it, it's just... I'm not used to it. (insert sound of wind blowing in the desolate background, a lone wolf crying his song...) ... *turns around* Wow, I've got quite the setting here.

It is. So many things you're just not aware of. And I also really love seeing how things are done, you know, the process of how a piece (of music) is made, what it takes, the struggle, everything. It's wonderful, and in the case of Artefact, so raw. Awe-inspiring.

THREE WEEKS LEFT! (gdi lazy) Holy shit though girl, I'd love to be able to be crazy like that haha... it's just one of those for me, Berlin actually 8DDDD ... 8DDDDDDD 8DD 8D so yeah uh we can like totally meet up maybe? 8D I mean hi! Apparently I'm being crazy enough though because originally it was planned that two of my friends and my mom would go, (she's a die hard fan heh), but then mom had a new job and it turned out she probably wouldn't get off then, so it was just us three, then the one was like ah no I'd rather not after all (she wasn't 100% sure from the beginning though), and NOW, like just literally right now, which is why I was seething until a few moments ago (I tried to calm myself down a bit by forcing myself into writing nice things... to you... 8D) the one who like always infallibly comes along for anything is being all whiny and... yeah ok she's got her problems and all that, but anyway now it's too stressful out of a sudden after we've been knowing we'll go months ago, you know, which just leaves me standing here like a fucking idiot, no not an idiot, but it just leaves me standing here slightly angrily and I don't even know entirely how to get to berlin and shit, but hey, I'll try my best. Fuck everything. Gurr.

... so YAY LET'S MEET UP BECAUSE I'LL BE ENTIRELY ALONE andIhateBerlinsorrybutagh mmh yes?
1st-May-2015 07:47 am (UTC)
I'm doing it!!! XD Haha. I even had some non-depressing entries these last few days. \n/

That's right, it's about the priorities. You could have a ton of master degrees, but if it's not what you want nor like to do, then it's worth nothing in the end.
Well said. Beautifully said. Agreed, 100%. And that "big leap" of yours is pretty accurate - creating something is everything to me. Which doesn't mean I do it much. XS Idk in recent years and after some bad things happened (not like, BAD but I'm a wuss and so they dragged me down big time), I completely lost confidence in myself and my abilities and have been mostly unable to create anything that holds meaning to me. But yes, what you're describing sounds very much like exactly what is important to me. But hey, don't all the famous people say (the cool ones, mind you): Just do what you love and eventually success will come with that? 8D ...or something... (Well, in the end it always comes down to luck and chance, I suppose... but hey, if you DON'T do what you love, nothing's gonna happen at all :P) I'm more for apartment than villa, too btw. XD Around here I sometimes see people who are building swimming pools in their gardens and I think "Pfft, what a waste of money - if I had that much, I'd build a studio in my basement and buy 10 guitars" XDDD On second thought, a small house would be perfect... not too much room, but also no neighbours that can hear you through the wall... *keeps on planning on spending money she will most likely never have*

Ahhh "l'esprit d'escalier"! I just googled it (bc I didn't know what "escalier" means XD) and realized there's a word for that in German which is a pretty exact translation ("Treppenwitz"). Sometimes - mind you, sometimes - it happens that I have a great, fun reply on the spot and deliver it in a super-dry voice. It's happened like, once or twice but I'm always proud of myself for months afterwards. XD Like "DAMN I was good!!!" XDDD

But yeah, the touching. Definitely depends on the person, very much. Same goes for ambiguous humour, by the way. When I'm at the pub, I'm used to friends being touchy with each other or making sexual references/jokes and it's no problem, but e. g. at work it's something that really creeps me out when colleagues make jokes like that. (Though it's mostly that one colleague who does that and I find him repulsive in general, but eh, I'm digressing...)

A peek behind the scenes is always interesting, I agree! 8D And seeing the struggle helps, it really does. Sometime we think there people are just geniuses and ideas and songs just come to them in their sleep or whatever. XD And they effortlessly write and play them. And it really helps when people like 30STM or Hyde or Kaoru reveal that it's not easy for them. In one of those recent video interviews, Kaoru said he doesn't think he has talent and he really struggles to write songs at all, but he thinks that this gives him strength because it makes him push himself hard to create something good? Or something XD But I find this really inspiring and amazing. Taking your perceived weaknesses and turning them into your strength is so admirable, I think. Especially with Kaoru, he's said things like that in the past and I admire that spirit so much. I want to be more like that, I give up on everything so easily and sink into self-pity instead... X(

WE SHOULD SO TOTALLY MEET UP IN BERLIN OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!! 8DDDD That would make me so happy!! And if I - or well, we (boyfriend is tagging along, but no worries, he's the nicest person on the planet XD much nicer than me, really) - can stand by you in your time of need, it's even better!!! We're arriving on the 19th (sometime around midday, I think?), have you planned anything yet (when you'll arrive, where you'll stay etc.) or do you only have the concert tickets? Where are you journeying from anyway? I don't think I ever asked where you live, actually *SHOT* Or maybe you mentioned it sometime and I overlooked it, either way I'm clueless 8DD

And I hope you're less upset now - though I imagine how enraging it must be to be stood up like that XS But it will turn out okay somehow. 8D You won't be alone in any case! *hughug*
6th-May-2015 08:49 pm (UTC)
Right. And I should stop and ignore my FL ... or at least... I stalked you a little bit so I seem less heartless or idk 8'D Hi.

It's funny, I had several occasions where I talked about that with friends. Older friends, who've been in their jobs for 20 years or so, heh, and yeah... I just can't see myself in a job that requires everything of me. I need time to myself. Your average grown up would try and slap "sense" into you at that point, like "that's life, suck it up. Go to work like everybody else" but ... not if it kills what is ~me~. Hope to find a job I can identify with, you know, the kind that I'd be happy to get up for. We'll see, right.
Hey, nothing against pools! I love water! ... Although if I were rich, I wouldn't want a pool, I'd want an actual lake, with fish, and frogs, and fresh water and all that. Mhm. One more thing added to the list.

Hahahahah!!! I don't think these things last quite as long for me, but I do run around with a huge grin on my face for quite a while after delivering such great comment ;D Don't think I've heard that one before actually, I'm more familiar with the French term.

Repulsive colleague with sexual innuendos? D: Sheesh, sounds borderline harassment.

Yeah, or hearing from really great and renowned authors how "it's not easy to write" for them either. Sometimes that puts things in perspective for you. But since you mentioned Kaoru... D: I never doubted the skills of anyone in Dir, so I was surprised when my Bangya friend (Japanese, yeah) outright said that Kaoru is quite a "bad guitar player" and "honestly, he should get better already, it's so annoying", I was kinda shocked haha... You do have to add though, bangyas are really harsh critics. Cruel almost. So I wasn't surprised to hear something like that from her, just more surprised it would be about someone like Kaoru o-o'

Okay now to that part YES DEFINITELY LET'S MEET UP AND ALL. I actually don't know what's going on with my friend now, because after we talked she was like "maybe I'll go fly after all... but it's so damn expensive..." yadayada, and I haven't heard from her since. So maybe she'll come? Maybe not??? I'm adapted to the probable case of her not joining, so that would be just us.
I'd arrive on day of the concert (did I already say that), and booked beds at Meininger at Alex, cause cheap, and close to the location. Where are you guys staying? Also I'm travelling from *drumroll* Munich 8D ... or I should be, but as I said earlier I still don't know ~how~ to actually get there. I usually travel via car pool, but so far there haven't been any drivers going to Berlin on that very day D: I might have to do something outrageous like going one day earlier or by train (blergh done that once, took ages, prefer car D:) but aaaaah I don't know yet ;-; What about youuuuu?

Yassss... It's not about being alone (which I am used to 8D) it's really just about the being stood up. We were 3~4 in the beginning, you know, and all are people who love Dir, so it's a little disappointing. It's also in connection with what we talked about above. Two of those chose their jobs before their beloved music, it's something I'd never want to do. I'm too "selfish" for that. I'd rather take a sick day if I don't get the day off, than to not go see something like ARCHE live. I mean... ARCHE. Seriously...
8th-May-2015 08:34 am (UTC)
You did!! I was so surprised, I never get any comments anymore, so I felt a bit ashamed that people actually still read what I write XD

And yes and amen to everything you wrote in that job paragraph. I feel so out of place here sometimes (well, quite often) because so far I haven't really met any programmers who are not "full-blooded" programmers - like, they do programming in their spare time and are actually interested in it - other than me. I'm really just in it for the money. XD (As in, I wanna pay my bills food and rent and like having a bit to spare, I'm not making teh big $$$$$ here XD) And it's not a nice feeling because it kind of makes me feel like I'm "inappropriate". I enjoy some of my work, it's not like I hate all of it, but... yeah, it's not ~me~, as you said.
[edit] That paragraph sounds a bit stupid... it's all a bit more complicated than that. Me and job search has always been a touchy subject, so I can't really explain it well... argh.

Lake sounds nice. I'd like a garden. With fruit trees! (And then someone to make me take care of them so they don't die like any plant I try to take care of, haha...) And lots of pretty flowers. And then I just need to get over my fear of any flying insect....

Naaaah it's not as bad as "borderline harrassment", no worries. Just annoying sometimes, but I think I get annoyed too easily. Need to learn to stay calm. After all, that guy's really irrelevant to my life in general, so he can say what he wants. :P As far as I know, repulsiveness is not contagious, luckily! X)

...okay now I have to out myself as clueless, what the hell is a Bangya? o_____o Anyway... uh, I very much doubt Kaoru is a bad guitar player... He's no John Petrucci for sure and he makes mistakes on stage like pretty much everybody does, but other than that... huh? His guitar tends to sound a bit off during solos sometimes, but I've always thought that was deliberate. I think it's all just part of his playing style and I personally love it and find technically super-skilled guitarists really boring most of the time. :P But yeah, to each his own. *tries not to get too overprotective of kaoru bc she worships him* XS

OKAY SO IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, YUSSS! 8DDD
Haha, such an aversion against trains? We never travel any other way. XD (Unless it's to London, then we take the plane, but I'm deathly afraid of flying really... so only when something big beckons, like Kate Bush last year XD)
Anyway, we're staying at Eastseven Hostel in Prenzlauer Berg - was the best compromise we found in terms of price and convenience (yeah, I need a certain degree of convenience XD). The last two times we stayed at another hostel nearby and I really like that part of Berlin (yeah, you don't like it, I know, but I think it's kinda cool, not touristy or anything, more "hip", you know?). So yeah, we're arriving a day before the concert and leaving for Dortmund the day after the concert. 8D I just hope the train drivers aren't gonna be on strike then. Grmbl. -____-;;;

I like your attitude. It's kind of sad how (at least I feel that) when you grow up, you get the feeling that being this passionate about something (at least something that's not your job :P) is somehow inappropriate or childish? Though I do understand the other side as well - I would be much too afraid to take a sick day and possibly get into trouble. :x (Yeah, I'm a bit of a coward, in case you haven't noticed... not proud of that...) I'm glad it all worked out smoothly for me with taking holidays this time. Boy I'm glad that the first few Europe concerts always were on weekends or holidays, I never had to skip school for them. XD Anyway, having only just been under threat of losing my job last year due to mass firings, I kind of get how you wouldn't wanna risk your job. You gotta pay your rent and food somehow after all. :x ...then again, if it was for Diru, maybe even I would do it? I've never had to, so I don't really know. XD

ANYWAY. If you like, we can exchange some means of contacting each other (idk what you prefer, phone number? mail? something that's not LJ) sometime before the 20th, so we can find each other on the day of the concert :3

Edited at 2015-05-08 08:40 am (UTC)
Roaded on Sep 20th 2017, 6:13 pm GMT.