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When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
† 〜 R ◆ I ◆ P 〜 † 
26th-Nov-2008 08:14 pm
Ruki despair
It's as if I had felt it coming that I wouldn't be able to have a peaceful night, when I went to bed surprisingly early.

Just to be woken up by a hysteric, nervous wrack, practically pulling me out of my bed while I was in one of my deepest phases of sleep, resulting in that I staggered more that I walked, and started shivering with weakness. Great.

Tried to 'calm her down' as she was panicking over Beluga [one of her cats] not being able to move one of his legs. No signs of pain though.

No point in waking me up when I can't do anything anyway, which always is the case with her cats. Ah well.

So after about 10 minutes trying to talk her into a calmer state and her trying to ring someone I don't know who was, I said something which she didn't hear very well and interpreted differently (= what usually leads to useless fights haha) and said "yes yes sure, go to bed again sure *trying a smile*" so that's what I did.

At around 4:30. Fucking great.

Of course I couldn't sleep yet.

When I was just about to glide over into sleep, she knocked at my door and came inside. Wanted to know the number of a telephonic information center, and luckily I knew one, 11 8 33 苦笑.

Took me about an hour until I fell asleep.

Always sounds coming from outside, mixing with the music, me just drifting will-less along an edge...

She'd called a doctor, I remember a stranger's voice.

Was it female?

And I remember Beluga screaming over and over again.

And then I remember hearing her crying while the other person still was there, talking, then silence

And then her talking on the phone again.

No idea what time that was. Probably around six.


Such a gentle one.


Wandering up to his heart

Leading to a painful death

The veterinary tried putting him down, but Rosi said he needed two syringes with the fluid and... it took Beluga half an hour to die.



I know how it is to loose relatives and pets. Luckily I'm somewhat unrelated to this situation.

Maybe that's "luckily", I don't know.

Can't really deal with her like that, don't feel as if I could be there properly.

I'm really glad she's got the little one already, Lily.

Hope she's gonna help her now.

I really did like Beluga. Other than Charlie he has this air of silent intelligence and understanding. Plus he was much more 'open' to those he knew. A lonely, fluffy cuddle bear.

May You Rest Now, Knuffel.
26th-Nov-2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
Awe.... That is so sad, but I know how that goes since I lost my oldest dog a few months ago.
I hope she feels better soon; it just takes time.
26th-Nov-2008 09:56 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it does take time. And she's quite an emotional person. She's hard times getting over anything. Hoping the best for her .____.
26th-Nov-2008 09:33 pm (UTC)
rest in peace Beluga <3 Such a pretty kitty ;A;
26th-Nov-2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
Hai... He was really pretty...

27th-Nov-2008 03:10 am (UTC)
T___T rest in peace kitty....
27th-Nov-2008 04:03 am (UTC)
I remember you talking about Beluga.
What a sad thing to happen....
27th-Nov-2008 08:06 am (UTC)
Rest in peace, Beluga kitty;_____;
29th-Nov-2008 08:04 am (UTC)
o_______o hmmmm I'm really sorry ... you know that I already buried 4 cats and it's terrible ... two times it was the vet who ended the life coz the cats suffered, and they fell into deep sleep in an instant. That vet must have done something wrong when it took Beluga so long to calm down! That's horrific.

I hope that you don't have problems with Rosy now coz of your special attitude towards death. Persons who know nothing about that, could interpret it as cold-hearted.

29th-Nov-2008 12:27 pm (UTC)
No it's okay between Rosi and me ^ ^ At the moment rather good again, so that's nice.

Yeah, he didn't find the Zugang straight away. It's still strange that it took him half an hour. I guess the putting down didn't help at all. Geldschneiderei.
Roaded on Jul 18th 2018, 8:04 pm GMT.