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When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
16th-Dec-2008 09:12 am
Ah... A dream that hurt my heart. I woke up with it clinging to me, and that bitter/sad expression on my face, until I remembered there was a sweet episode as well.

I have to rush actually. Got up a bit late because of all that, and promptly as I went to the bathroom, a rather incessant stream of blood started gushing out of my nose. Oh holy... and that when I still needed to dress and all. But... it worked rather well, as if I'd done that before, dressing with one hand... Worked well until I got to the point when I needed two hands and well. Started making breakfast halfway ready, until the flow stopped, luckily, and I could quickly change into the rest and finish in the bathroom.

So, dream... The bitter part first, even though it was the last one... but I remembered them that way around. And as much as I love details, I fear I must leave them out due to management of time. =__=

What it all was about were ... free concerts. Free, or almost free. They were held both inside and outside some buildings... looked like bureaus or schools. There were lockers in the lowest floor, were I roamed around first, trying to lock up all my stuff before heading out to buy something to eat. There was still time for the Gazette [yepp] concert, and it seemed as if only a few number of people had known about this all... there weren't that many there. The number was... still countable, maybe. People were sitting together, talking, eating, walking around, it was all rather relaxed. I was slightly consternated about the fact that the lockers that had still been there for the last concert, weren't there anymore, now that I really needed them.

I don't remember what I did in the end... Mom arrived as well, and I went off for food, exploring the building first - it was rather funny, for one, because there was construction work going on, seeing all the material and things... and then I arrived at a level in the building that had the bureaus, and hmmm... that was even funnier, as I moved spy-like when I got down the stairs to that floor, crept along unnoticed and swung around corners and handrails... until I got to the floor with all the food and shopping places. I went straight to Rischart. *laugh* It's one of the best bakery and pastry makers... with renowned cream cakes. They are quite noble. A bit pricey but... when you can ne... So I went up to one of the guys behind the counter, and looked over all the things they had there... trying to decide. The young fella had some flirt going on with me... not that I flirted back, not my type, but... he was one of those joker people, you know... so I totally joked along with him. It felt good.... ^ ^ Until my eyes found what my stomach wanted, and payed for it... Ah, he did some jokes with my money. As I paid with a fiver, but had taken out a 20er as well, he distracted me and then took the 20, but in a way I could still see it in his hand when I looked back [no, he did not say "look, THERE, Mao!" like Suba likes doing... it wouldn't have worked anyway. =_=" Though, as there were concerts.... O_O"]

He was a formidable thief... luckily he didn't ... be-thief me. There was more playing around, until I finally had paid the sum I was to pay, and had my cake, and then went to the grounds again... but outside this time.

That's the part that hurt. Because just as I had found mom somewhere out there, with a rather huge mass of people that had been accumulated and now dispersed, finding her sitting on a bench, she said "Ah, did you hear it? I heard his voice so crystal clear back here even!" She seemed so excited, having enjoyed it so much...

A.... 痛い. I cringed. I really cringed. My stomach contracted. There wasn't supposed to be a concert until a certain time, but no, the dream wanted to take a turn to the bad and deny me to see and experience what I had wished for so much... so damn much. Crystal clear voice? ... ルキの...Devastated. I couldn't fathom how this all wanted to turn out so hurting, to me, NO, I had not heard, not the least bit, of nothing.


I woke up with remembering only that. Moaned some and turned around, wide awake though, brooding without really thinking at all.

Until I remembered what had been before...

I already mentioned that there had been lockers before. There also had been another concert before. I remember arriving at the place, walking around with only a couple of people being there, surprised as I found lockers, then carefully choosing the one that would be perfect for my things.

The next thing I can remember was the concert... I was in the very first row, to the very left, the stage was tiny, but the guys did a fantastic show... Really fantastic. We had so much fun... I didn't even mind that I was so much in the far left, that I was practically not even in front of the stage... more behind the railing that was behind the gangway that would lead backstage again.

And... after the concert, a total happy me... Oh, I haven't mentioned the band's name yet. Which is because I, the dreamer, hadn't known that before it ended. Me, totally happy, just grinning at the members on stage, not caring that they were looking at other people (= those in front of them), or whatever, I was just so damn happy... and then the band started walking backstage (... I actually think it was before the encore. There was going to be a second part of the concert.). The band, actually, was SCREW... So I was rather surprised when I looked up, and the guy that came from stage towards me, was Ayabie's Intetsu. He looked gorgeous though ... and I just grinned and leaned a bit over the railing, saying "konnichi wa!" to him... he immediately stopped and came closer, alert that someone had said something to him, but not understanding due to the fuss of people... So he leant in, close to me, I laughed and said "KON NI CHI WAH!" ... he looked startled I should only say such trivial things to him *laughs* and said konnichiwa back to me (his voice was rather deep xD), smiling, before he left backstage.

Ah, that episode had been so funny of some reason, my stomach was about to cramp just from the feeling of holding back laughter. 笑

Yet, that wasn't all... There was another guy coming down the stage and... as I was all attentive to him, and he had to pass me anyway on his way, just somehow... I smiled widely as he got close, he smiled back, wah, it was Yuuto, looking just so beautiful ♥. As he went up to me, my hands were over the railing on the other side I think, and I had stretched out my hand to shake his (I'd done that with Intetsu as well). He grabbed mine and shook it... but... as my heart skipped a beat, he didn't let it go. He continued holding it as if it were a normal thing to do, and we started talking... smalltalk, in Japanese... *hee* I don't really know what it was about anymore... at first it seemed to have been about the live and about some technics. The only things I remember were the feelings... my heart fluttering somewhere high up in the whatnot heaven, me grinning widely, my eyes two bright stars blinking at him, *laughs*, the feeling of his warm hand holding mine, and the feeling of accomplishment, as I had had a normal talk with him. My mom, who had been somewhere further back, but had overlooked the scene, later said she was proud of me. *laughs*

Haawwwwww..... *sigh* Dreamy, wasn't it?

Remembering that bit that I had dreamt before made it all so much better. Erased the pain from the ending.

Would be helpful if that worked so well in other situations, ne? Just having the past erase out the pains from the present.

21st-Dec-2008 09:59 am (UTC)
It's so nice to read that I'm in your dream
So I'm part of your life, THIS life, all that J-Rock thing ...

22nd-Dec-2008 02:18 am (UTC)
Yeah, seems like it. though I would have wished I also could have been there, listening to Ruki... Seeing him again...
Roaded on Jun 25th 2018, 1:40 pm GMT.