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When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
[mem] ☆ !New Years meme! ☆ 
1st-Jan-2009 12:00 am
mao distorted
From milith and tayru... or maybe it wasn't the exact same one, but they were similar nonetheless.

1. Did you have a good 2008 and why?
I would say so. This year had a lot more downs than any other of the past years, and the highs had been of a different nature… but there was so much that happened, even though I stayed in one place most of the time… I didn’t move around, neither did I see much of the world as I’ve done other years before, so all in all it had this rather settled feeling about it - on the surface. There were a lot of storms raging on the inside however. But I’m grateful for all of them in several ways.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t think I made any last year. I usually don’t. It’s a bit like putting oneself under pressure, and I know how I react when I’m put under that kind of pressure - I react contrarily. If I made any, then they probably were things I do anyway, like ‘stay true to yourself’, 頑張ってね, and so on.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. I know that the daughter of my hostfamily in Norway gave birth, but I only met her once or twice.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Some parts of myself… and reborn again, I guess. 鳳らしい〜

5. What cities did you visit?
Oi… Of the bigger ones, it were Cologne and Berlin in Germany (else amongst other Ingolstadt *laughs*), and Pratteln (cannot really be called city, can it? xD) in Switzerland.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Things I could come up with now, I wouldn’t mention. I lacked… self control in some places… which I’d like myself to make better. Independent of the year or time. And no, that did not have to do with マオ =_=

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I’m not that terrific with dates… Though I love eating dates, they’re so yummy, and when they’re just right, like, a bit soft still, not too sweet but… that means… umm.. what? oh. The other ‘date’? Oh, sorry. ^ ^” lmao
Um, the 23rd of October is etched in my memory, for etch~y reasons. ヒミツです笑
And then it’s the 23rd of September, the day I went to my ルクス’s place for the first time.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Making it through the last semester doesn’t really feel like an achievement… so… 愛かな? And new friendships always are achievements, and keeping old friends.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not writing the ‘final’ papers I was supposed to write. But it was okay not to…

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have been ill, but only in the way that I don’t notice, as usual. Injuries, yeah, some. Most of them on the inside, some on the outside, but those weren’t so ~grave~.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Repeated Countless Error, SIDNAD Vol.3, concert tickets, the zy mega and all things I did not buy for myself. ♥ And the first pack of dates (♥.♥)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Erm… always, マオ x3 especially together with Yuuyuu… and 智’s *laughs* And mine in some situations? XDD
Ah I just have to credit that situation…
日本語授業で I just whispered some help to Yuki.
雪:「...持って?[=motte] oO” *looking at me as if she’d just realized I’m her long lost brother in law*」
私:「Yeah, 持って. :3… *grin* Kannst aba auch Schmettaling sagen :333」

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Appalled? People that go to concerts only to laugh at serious performances and don’t appreciate what they are allowed to be part of. Certain people that hurt and make fun of others just for their fun of it. Some of certain politicians’ movements and behavior also did.
Depressed? No one’s, really.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Into the rent I pay.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
After Gazette 2007 what got me really, really, really excited was hmmm… seeing ルクス again, I’d say :3 There were some lives that made me feel tingly, too, but not that many. Oh, and the signing session with Kagrra, really, really, really got me excited as well. *laughs* As well as some Uruki related things. *laughs* And erm… the usual.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
紅蓮 [the whole single actually]
12012’s How about truth…?
UnsraW - 休眠お休み, even though that already started in Winter 2007
NoGoD’s 夢幻教 album
Kain’s The End
涙の温度 and モノクロのキス in some ways, though they’re always going to be there…
シド’s I WISH
Sadie’s 儚き理想 僅かな愛
30 Seconds to Mars’ From Yesterday, and a couple of others
Siam Shade
Rentrer en Soi’s 微熱下で写実した深層は宛先不明の手紙と成る amongst others
Siva’s concealment
lynch’s forgiven and lizard
Luna Sea’s I for You
Kagrra,’s 彩の讃歌
Juliadoll’s Eternity
Dio’s GOD forsaken and Carry Dawn
And Core the Child’s 91番目の朱, LoveSong, and Good-Bye

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? I felt relief at both times, but I think this time it was happier.
b) thinner or fatter? No change
c) richer or poorer? I don’t think there’s been a change. At the moment probably richer, because I haven’t paid January’s rent yet XD

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Studying, travel, go to lives. Chocolate...

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinate. Complicating things. Buying so much chocolate? o.o

20. How did you spend Christmas?
In Berlin with Ruks and family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yeah, I did. And out, and in and out, and so on. ^ ^

22. How many one-night stands?
Zero. Mwahahahahaha!!!! >3 Wish that ‘mao’ was some number in some language ahahahahahahah *SHOT HARD*

23. What was your favorite TV program?
I didn’t watch TV … or at least no programs/shows.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

25. What was the best book you read?
Did I actually read books apart from those for my studies?… Oh yeah, right. xD Well in that case, Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys and Izumi Kyouka’s gothic tales.

26. How do you think you have changed this year?
I learnt about people and their failures. I widened my personal horizon, I’ve learnt more about myself, I’ve done things I haven’t done before, I’ve established contacts that changed me, I’ve been feeling more and more intensely, I’ve become frailer, I’ve endured and changed through the personal hardships I’ve been through, I became depending on some inner levels while I still kept my independency on others,

27. What did you want and get?
Get to experience the lives I wanted to go to. Love. Pain. マオ. *blanks out* @////////@

28. What did you want and not get?
Go to Japan.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Letters of Iwo Ijima
Code Geass/Code Geass R2

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was about to write that I don’t remember, but I do. I know the day started bad, really bad, though I don’t really know anymore why it did. It continued worse and worse, until I found my first birthday present in the letter box, that drove tears to my eyes, made me sit on my bed and cry and clutch the little thing... ♥
And later I went for Sushi with mom and my grandparents, to unwrap some (to me only) embarrassing presents that made my mom’s face glow with sadistic glee mwaha...ha.. ha? -.-’ [The presents themselves were fine ♥ It was unwrapping them in front of everyone, that was slightly embarrassing XD]

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I can’t really say, because I’ve never been in the situation of having it… マオ in some way Get better at Japanese sdlgje;woDAMMIT ヨーガフレーム(>_<)

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
A lot less black and more purple, and just as cold in winter as last year x3

33. What kept you sane?
Hmm, it differed. Things that keep me sane one day do the opposite the next, ne. But all in all, it was music, and some people in some situations.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
………………………………………………………… may I… laugh… at the incredible dullness of this question? yes? yes? I’m doing it already anyway ahahahahahaha! If you can't answer that by yourself... *shakes head* XD

35. Who was the best new person you met?
*ponders* New person… There weren’t that many persons I met in real life, but Yuki was one. Best though… hmm, maybe, ne. Else, there’d be that one Danish tutor of mine… *laughs* that man is so funny… and so much (gay) win, it’s terrific. So much fun. And other... mikaru, if I may add...

36. What was one good quality you thought you possessed in 2008?
My strength despite my weaknesses, my ability to be there for others.

37. What was one bad quality you thought you possessed in 2008?
Procrastinating things, if you can call that ‘quality’. I know I mentioned that before, yet I don’t really know what to put there.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Did I learn any new ‘life lesson’ this year, I wonder.
Maybe… No matter how much you think you know and can trust people, there always are so many factors about them and their inner life that you can’t know about, and that can be the cause for destroying everything you ever had. This shouldn’t make you distrust people more… just don’t be surprised when it comes that way.
And, one should always try and love the person one loves from the inside out, not loving so much with one’s mind, but with one’s 魂, soul, really let soul love soul… like that, outside factors such as difficulties, hardships, etc, aren’t as important anymore. It’s important though, that both can evaluate their love enough to surpass all outside factors, and allow themselves to love with the intensity that makes it all possible.

And… milith said that averseofmelody “just put it all beautifully”, and thinking she’s right, I let that be on my journal as well. *laughs*

be grateful and be thankful for whatever you have. be bold, dare to dream, and work towards it, even if no one understands why you did what you did. and most importantly, you must be happy. because only when you're truly happy, that you can bring happiness to the people around you. lastly, your life is yours, and not defined by another person's opinions. be brave, be strong.

39. What do you look forward to in 2009?
Whatever positive life might bring… lives I might go to… I’m looking forward to get better at Japanese, steadily steadily. I should reach a level in which I can finally call myself at least mediocre. *laughs* And better. I want to officially translate some blogs after the next semester is over, so I’m looking forward to having reached that level. I’m also looking forward for new releases (music, neeee) and Nyan’s blog. *///* Oh and as I’m already at it, his new outfits, and songs, and PVs, and crazy ideas and games he comes up with, and ギン☆ギンがんば, and all his terrible teases that I love so much and all that stuff and and and and erm. >//////>” Um well, now I lost the thread XD There was something else. Oh yes… looking forward to new muse-kisses.

40. Any big plans for 2009?
Apart from my studies I don’t have any fast plans… that doesn’t mean I don’t have plans at all. *laughs* I already mentioned some ‘plans’ in 39, so apart from those… I want to finally write (more/again), though it’s not all that easy with time management, but fuck that, alright. >3

So yeah… guess that’s about it.
Happy new Year, everyone!

1st-Jan-2009 08:45 am (UTC)
o_____o Thx for that "insight" ... interesting to read, strange in some way (for me, as your mother) ... some things I don't understand (as I can't read Kanjis, of course) - but I found something we have in common: wishing to go to more lives !!!!!

Ah, yeah, and now I know another English word, thx to you: "procrastinate". Yepp. This fits. Absatively (not meant viciously)

Ps.: I'm not angry about the "embarrassing birthday presents" and the "sadistic glee on my face". Seriously!
1st-Jan-2009 02:46 pm (UTC)
Heheh, yeah... all the little japanese XD Maybe you'll learn it one day. XP
Yesssss, livessssss.....

It's a good word. Well actually, it's a bad word, but it's nice vocabulary.

Why should you xD It was a bit embarrassing for me, lol... I mean, I was squirming XDDD But it was fun. *laughs* And you did have a sadistic glee on your face xDDDDDD
Roaded on Apr 27th 2018, 8:46 am GMT.