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When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
† Thunderstorms † [and hikari] 
2nd-Jul-2009 05:36 pm
Mao eye
Heavy thunder outside.

Not the rolling kind. The aggressively cracking kind.

I'm glad I love thunderstorms. I'm really glad I'm not afraid of them, like so many other kittens... or like Rosie is.
This thunderstorm is pretty unusual, as there is no wind, no heavy down pour. Huge, lenient drops splashing down vertically. 嗚呼…ほのぼの…

When I got back from college some hours before that, I went to buy groceries. The sky was grey in one area. I gazed up at it, wondering whether it would actually start raining before I got home. I would have liked it to. It's been pretty warm, not as warm as the day before yesterday, but still warm enough for rain to be a thing very much appreciated. And just when I got out one of the stores, 私は雨 started playing.

I smiled, and turned up the volume.

Twenty seconds later, it started raining.

Thank you, life.

Not getting enough sleep the last couple of days is getting to me. I was too exhausted at noon-time to keep continuing the courses at college. I wanted to try out sleeping in the afternoons again. Usually, sleeping in the middle of the day doesn't do me any good, nor does it help me feeling more awake. For some reason though, after doing the groceries and studying a bit, I lay down on my bed.

There still was 「hikari」, unplayed apart from the first three songs. I never made it ... 落園 I guess was too much a 'shock' the first times I heard it, when I first 'tried' listening to シド's new album, it dazed me too much. I didn't even really absorb 妄想日記2 after it. 嘘 was grand, not unknown. I had to stop, then.
Yesterday I tried 落園 again, while walking through the park leading to college.
It was okay... even though I felt slightly sick.

So while laying down I thought, this might be a good opportunity to try listening to the remaining songs. I might not sleep, however get some rest instead. Or maybe not even that. I didn't really mind.

That's what I did then... starting from 妄想日記2, allowing myself to drift off. Shortened down 嘘.

サーカス started.
 "Drums... I like that kind of drums.微笑"
 "His voice... is beautiful.微笑"
 "Ah... I really like it."
 "Bass! *rejoicing in hearing out details of the basslines*"
 "And the overall rhythm, how... lovely. イメージ... "
 "And Shinji's guitar... ♥"

Those were the things I scribbled down without even really looking. *laughs*
How proud they must feel somewhere inside to have published yet another album. This one, at that. Amazing how his voice changed over time...

The moment 罪木崩し started, I was wide awake.
Holy Gods.

... More I cannot remember. I managed to fall asleep during that song. Don't ask me how I managed. *laughs* Well I guess it's that beguiling, floating quality of his voice... ... ...

I woke up an hour later, my iPod already switched off as I had only had the album run once.
I guess I really won't try sleeping during the day anymore. As usual, I felt sick, it took me ages to finally get up, and for a while I felt even more tired than before.

That was when the cracking thunder started. With it, I was able to actually get up.
When I opened my door, Rosie had just gotten out of her bedroom. She had been sleeping, too. Tired, just like me.

I just stood at the kitchen window then, looking outside, watching the raindrops fall into the rails, listening to the thundering. 出かけたい。一人じゃなく出発したかったんだ…

Somehow, so much felt desirable. So much about this day, about those moments here (未だなぁ) felt 'right'.

I went to check whether the packet I had been expecting really had arrived (and left...) when I was just about to lay down. It had indeed.

Well, as I really wanted to go out, even though the rain had stopped, I took the package slip and departed, trying to find the store the package would get delivered to. Usually you can't get your parcels before the day after, but why not take it as alibi to go outside.

Sandals, umbrella, bag and paper slip.
Rush hour.
I walked faster than the bus went *laughs*

Well, after a little odyssey I finally found the petit shop. The parcel hadn't arrived there yet, but the guy said that it probably would be there in about an hour or so, and he would give it out to me then (even though it says on the slip "etc etc not before the next day etc etc"). Aww~ Well, I thought I'd go back there later this evening. It's a call shop, so they'll be open until 11pm. 微笑 Ah, I'm somewhat excited. *laughs*

まぁ... Even though I had brought my iPod with me [as always. I feel naked without. ... the... exposed, non-thrilling way of being naked 8D], I hadn't been listening to it all the while. The first song the playlist would have presented me with, would have been 9GOATS 「in the rain」*smiles* but.

As I turned away from the shop and faced back home, I knew I wouldn't listen to my playlist. It had stopped raining a while ago. Wet streets, the rush hour still going on at some place, a bright sky with beautiful clouds, that lovely way back home through some back alleys along side a stream... Right.

I would have to confront myself with the rest of 「hikari」one time anyway, and if felt right... So I did. Started off with where I had left off - 罪木崩し and skipped down the pathway, my smile widening with every step taken, every beat, every line, every word. I felt a sort of uh... ジャマイケン influence ...... *SHOT*

But, damn, I think I love that song. *laughs* In that way that people passing me by might confuse the aim of my love with themselves. ... It happens, at times. 爆. There was this cyclist who saw me smile beam that way, and gazed at me with this enrapt look on his face until we had passed each other. I really could do nothing but chuckle. ... If he'd stopped behind me, I would have burst out laughing, apologizing for I-don't-even-know ahh... I'm just not really here with music like that... at times. *smiles* I just hope whoever might get confused by my facial expressions notice at some point that even though my eyes might have flit over them, it really really does not have to do the least bit with them.

Okay, then, 2°C目 made me just smile even wider.

*takes a deep intake of breath*



I uh. 8D

I wasn't even fooled by the uhm, "soft"? and ... "innocent" (KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! neveryoufoolme ... at least not when it's about this 8D) way 「capsule」started... Besides that I had gotten uh, hints, of its true nature.


20 seconds or 30 or so into the song. I stopped in my tracks, trying to catch some breath of air.

Stayed like that for a while.

Did I whimper?

I just know one of the first sounds I made was something along the lines of "... ho... maih... Gawwwdsss".

Not a minute stopped or stayed he, not the least obeisance made he... あっ、めちゃくちゃになった8D
Uhm. Just my way of distracting myself, I fall into random patterns... lately this one, again... randomly expressing... randoms

... But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, and so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door...

I took off my shoes, then.

My first-time-after-that-thunderstorm-walking-barefoot-song.

Well, though you couldn't really call it walking. ... Though I did not stagger... but... I did walk differently. As if someone had just stuck... Uh, never mind. 8D あぶねーー

... oh Gods, that thought distracted me, now *one crazy look*

Well. I ~did~ walk. Somehow. Whimpering and laughing and then whimpering again, and laughing even more. I just walked and laughed, my hand pressed tightly against my mouth whenever something was about to make me scream. wwwww Ohhhh dear... until some point I just stopped still and plopped against a wall, just leaning against it [reminded of the way when ちび and me listened to... Sugar Pain for the first time together and ended up pressing ourselves against a wall in the middle of Corkcity, gasping, eyes protruding. *laughs*] and laughing more or less silently into my hand, my stomach wound into pleasant knots *shot. Two schoolgirls passed me by. I chuckled, whinnied softly, and walked on.


Good Job, Mister. Good Job.
And that was before I knew the least bit of lyrics. (or well, I remember some 'unknown' pieces of lyrics thrown at me lately but ... <_<’)


「ドラマ」 made me smile ... *chuckles* When I first saw the list for the songs on the album, I imagined that one song to be of a faster kind, or at least, upbeat sounds. 笑

I stopped before 「光」
I started it now. Hnn... the beginning reminded me of some Audrey Hepburn film~

And with that (can't concentrate on typing oh gods...) it's about time to head out for the shop again anyway so~

Roaded on Jun 19th 2018, 5:08 am GMT.