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When everything turns to nothing, I'll still be there for you.
[poem] 灰と雨 
23rd-Aug-2007 02:35 pm
mao distorted
「hai to ame」
(15. April 2007)

Everything I touch, all that I feel
turns into lingering flames unsealed
burning inside me with a power too real
Consuming only what seems to be redeemed.

On my lips your taste still hangs ~
If my soul to mirth’s mellow music rang
still no happiness could replace your charm
And with all the fibers of my soul that feel the harm
continuously I cry out what Loss means to take
until my voice first fades, then whispers, then breaks,
and all the soundless splinters of your name
shattered about the palms of my hands, remain,
sticking to their wetness like dew to an early leaf
And the flames still burning nourish my constant grief.

I know that this moment, I am leaving you
The rising gold sun licks up the silvery dew
Thus she takes away a part of the parental pain
But the newborn wolves won’t forever play tame.

I love you more than words could say
I’m leaving now, though I want to stay
and shattered now around me still
the memories like spread out photographs on a window sill,
wet and blurred from toppling tears - I won’t wave them away
even if that means that my sadness will stay.

I can’t forget the way it was, because
though remembrance cuts through my heart like a thousand swords,
trying to remember later and realizing I have forgotten
would turn everything that happened into a corpse that’s rotten.

The sun still shines and the fire still lingers
on the gently outstretched tips of my fingers,
that slowly trace your face which I lost
only till I realize that what I valued most
is nothing more now than an ephemeral ghost,
swaying in silk moved by a salty breeze on a southern coast
A trillion tears like needless needles in my eyes
still are better than that feeling which dies.

Weakly I pull back my unreachedfor hands
Shivering though warm, coiled up like an embryo, something ends,
the sparks in my eyes lackluster soon might be
but embraced by agony what much more is there to see ~
Quietly the hunger inside me will fade
Until all I don’t want to feel… is dead.

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Roaded on Jun 25th 2018, 1:55 pm GMT.